Achewood
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Achewood is an online comic strip created by Chris Onstad. It portrays the lives of a group of anthropomorphic stuffed toys, robots, and pets. Many of the characters live together in the home of their owner, Chris, at 62 Achewood Court, a fictional address. The events of the strip mostly take place in and around the house, as well as around the town of Achewood, the fictional suburb which gives its name to the comic and is likely a thinly-veiled Palo Alto, California. Notably, the comic's humor is surreal and generally lacks a punch line. It is celebrated by readers for its unpredictable humor, strong characterization and distinctively voiced dialogue.
History and overview
The first Achewood strip ("[Philippe is standing on it]") was released on October 1 2001. The strip sets the tone for the rest of the comic, with its nonsensical humor and surprising visual punchline. In this particular strip, Mr. Bear and Téodor are discussing Téodor's confusion over a drum machine. Mr. Bear informs Téodor that there is an instruction manual. However, Philippe is standing on it.Throughout the rest of the comic, there is no distinguishable underlying storyline — aside, perhaps, for the general passing of time and development of the comic's characters and their interrelationships. Onstad's preferred method of story-telling is to develop his characters through one-off strips and short story arcs. Strips are humorous, relying upon inane and chaotic humor as well as social stereotypes, occasional burlesque literary and historical references, and strong characterization of the comic's many quirky individuals. As the humor often depends on an in-depth knowledge of the characters and their interactions, new readers may appreciate the series more if they start their reading earlier on in the series and progress chronologically from there.
Chris Onstad has self-published nine books: six collections of Achewood comics, a book by Nice Pete, a 'zine by Roast Beef, and an Achewood cookbook with recipes from several of the main characters.
In the fall of 2002 Achewood 's "Sunday Edition" became part of the online alternative comics anthology Serializer. In their review of serializer.net, The Comics Journal wrote: "It's a pleasure to see strips like Achewood's "Sunday" strip ... use the newspaper format for far more daring, entertainingly perverse work ... would be perfectly at home at a good alternative weekly or a great college paper."
On April 30 2003, Onstad introduced a new feature to the Achewood universe — an advice column written by the character Ray called Ray's Place. This column has served to further develop the Achewood canon by allowing prose related to the characters to be written. The column has developed characters, mainly as perceived by Ray. It also allows for an interaction between reader and character, a novelty in comic art.
July 2004 saw the introduction of several in-character blogs. The main characters all began writing (using Blogger) to speak to their audience. This unique perspective further advances character development allowing the daily, often mundane, events of the character to find their way to the audience. Onstad stated in an interview that he found the blogs easier to maintain than the strip, as they do not require as much refining. This method of breaking the fourth wall has been extended further with the opening of a forum [link] supposedly maintained by one of the characters, Emeril.
In late 2004, it was announced that Checker Book Publishing Group had signed Chris Onstad to a three-book deal that was to begin in November 2004. However, the deal was canceled soon after due to creative differences.
Etymology
According to the official website, "achewood" was used by slaves during the United States of America antebellum in the production of "achewater", a now outlawed Southern drink with psychedelic properties, similar to the use of wormwood in the production of absinthe. This liquor would induce melancholia in the drinker, hence the name. This etymology is fictitious, the strip is full of these ostensibly plausible explanations and a significant portion of the humor comes from realizing you've built a cognitive framework on one of these landmines.The Underground
The Achewood Underground is an underground version of the human city above, inhabited and run by stuffed and real animals. The underground has its own businesses and establishments that parallel those above ground, and its inhabitants often steal or borrow things from their human counterparts aboveground. Aside from Achewood, it is assumed that most cities around the world have their own undergrounds as well. [link]Characters
Ray Smuckles
Raymond Quentin Smuckles is a cat (more specifically, an American Curl, a breed that, appropriately enough, originated from Lakewood, California) with expertise in such fields as cookery, alcohol, underground street dancing, entrepreneurship, and women. Along with his best friend Roast Beef, Ray is the central character of the strip; their relationship lies at the heart of Achewood. He tends to be lucky, acquiring money in a variety of ways, including a record contract with Sony (after selling his soul to the devil for piano skills), an auspicious eBay purchase of vintage erotica valued at 600 million dollars, and various business ventures. On the other hand, he has a weakness for gambling, and often loses up to thousands of dollars while playing golf and pool with his friends. Ray has a penchant for prank calls, whether outgoing (Marmaduke, Cathy) or incoming (telemarketers). He also has a sexual fetish for women sitting on birthday cakes. He wears designer glasses, a thong, the occasional cape, and a gold medallion which once belonged to the fictitious Incan Fun God, '[King Chochacho]'. He enjoys throwing lavish parties with unusual themes. Ray drives a Cadillac Escalade. He recently learned his father, Ramses Luther Smuckles, won the 1973 Great Outdoor Fight, which inspired Ray to enter. Ray defeated all other entrants in the GOF except for Beef (see below), and demolished the Fight grounds when the Fight's organizers insisted that he beat Beef to unconsciousness in order to win. Through eBay Platinum Reserve, he now owns Airwolf, Keith Moon's head, and the world's biggest laser.
Ray also writes the advice column "[Ray's Place]" on the Achewood site, though there is a disclaimer at the bottom warning that the advice is in fact from a cartoon cat.
Ray was originally introduced as a minor supporting character, part of a trio of cats (along with Roast Beef and Pat) who were always seen together, and fancied themselves "the dirtiest dudes in town" due to their reputed penchant for foul language. As time passed, Onstad began to give the three cats individual personalities, and before long the focus of Achewood began to move away from the four stuffed animals living in the Onstad residence and onto Ray and Beef. The increasingly abrasive Pat remained in a supporting role, eventually turning the trio into a duo.
C. \"Roast Beef\" Kazenzakis
Roast Beef (first name, [Cassandra] — Roast Beef was born intersexed), a cat, is interested in computer programming and has a girlfriend Molly formerly in heaven, where he visited her twice: once after being shot by Pat and once after driving a golf cart off a cliff while high on marijuana. Molly now lives on Earth, and has now reached an on-again, off-again relationship with Beef (as those who know him call him).
It seems that Roast Beef has had a desperately unhappy and impoverished childhood. [link] [link] [link] He has seemingly incurable depression and/or Avoidant personality disorder, and considers suicide often, though no one seems to care. Recently however, his depression seems to have improved, particularly since meeting Molly. For a long time he lived in a trailer with his abusive grandmother, Gramma K. Recently, he has moved out of the trailer and into Ray's pool shed. His speech balloons rarely include punctuation, which is probably a way to show his accented/slang-way of talking, emphasized by using the word "dogg" for calling other people.
He has been shot at least four times. One shooting [lodged a bullet in his spine], which grants him permanent wireless Internet access (though this has never been mentioned since, and he still uses physical computers to access the net; one possible reason for this is that, according to the mouseover in the strip where this happened, his internet connection is only 9600 baud, which would considered extremely slow by anyone, especially the internet-savvy Roast Beef). Another shooting resulted in his cardio-pulmonary system being replaced by that of an AIBO. He has also been shot at least one additional time by Ray and [once fatally by Lie Bot] (who was masquerading as Ray's uncle Culpepper).
Roast Beef's birthday is [April 22nd]. Some of his accomplishments include a program that determines how many eggs and how much milk you need to buy in a given week, and another that determines the amount of loose change lying around your house and makes a reservation at a restaurant accordingly. He is perhaps the world's greatest historian of the Great Outdoor Fight, and drove Ray to compete in the 2006 Fight. He also managed to get into the fight himself by hacking the fight's database. He drives a 1965 Ford Galaxie (powered by Ford's rare 427 SOHC V8) that was a gift from Ray. He has also gone to the moon, by stealing Pat's home-made rocket, and to hell, via various methods including vomiting into an electrical outlet. He has also produced his very own "zine", titled Man Why You Even Got To Do A Thing.
According to [Onstad], Roast Beef is one of several important foils to the increasingly central character of Ray. Ray's consistent optimism, sexual bravado, unwavering confidence, privileged upbringing, simple attitudes, and good luck makes him seem on the surface a complete antithesis of character to Roast Beef. Regardless, the two have been close friends since childhood, and it may be observed that as the strip progresses, each occasionally adopts the attitudes and perspectives of the other. The two do, of course, have a few points of dissent: Roast Beef is somewhat more sympathetic to Little Nephew than his Uncle Ray, and has taken issue with Ray's alcoholism.
Philippe
Philippe is a naïve young otter who resides in the house with Cornelius Bear, Lyle and Téodor, as well as Chris and Chris's family. He is separated from his mother, who lives in an undisclosed location, but they talk on the phone frequently and have a close relationship. As is the case with Roast Beef, Philippe's father is deceased. From time to time Philippe's mother sends him [unusual presents].
Though he is only five years old, Philippe has had an exciting life. He has [made friends with a french fry], [been married to a flower], had a frightening encounter with a serial killer (Nice Pete), been [possessed] by the soul of Billy Idol, [run for president], and [accidentally killed a robot]. Phillipe recently became a 'father' to a bird named Franky. Philippe's birthday is on [August 22nd].
Philippe enjoys hugs and is very [gullible]. Inspired by poster images of the Soviet era, Philippe recently decided to join the Communist party, but then lost interest when the poster was replaced with one of the band The Arcade Fire, which he took literally.
Cornelius Bear
Most often referred to as Mr. Bear, he is a scholarly and fatherly figure to much of the cast, being much older than most of them - he was married to his first wife, Iris Gambol, sometime before 1967. [link] He is not afraid to enjoy a good drink, and tends to be more erudite and romantic than the rest of the cast. It has also been implied that he has been imprisoned, and has had German, French and Austrian cellmates, although it is possible this was all a fabrication to win the Badass Games[link]. Mr. Bear is also the author of several children's books including "So Many Whales", "The Mayor of Banana Town," and — during a somewhat later and darker period — "Janet: The Girlfriend Who Could Only Ever Complain" and "Chug-A-Lug: The Train Who Drinks". Although originally from Cambridge [link] he now lives at 62 Achewood Ct. Recently, he was shot by Pat, but survived. During his recovery, he spent his time writing eloquent closed captions for the Spice Network. Mr. Bear has been seen driving an Austin Mini with the driver's seat on the right-hand side, indicating it was originally sold in Britain.
Mr. Bear seems to command respect from nearly every member of the cast — with the noteworthy exception of the brash and petulant Lyle. This can be seen in almost every strip in which they both appear. [link] [link] [link]
Despite a reputation for class, Mr. Bear seems to have low standards when it comes to employment. At various times, he has been a writer of genre romance novels[link], a closed captioner for the Spice Channel [link] and a paid lecturer for Mensa International[link].
Lyle Gabriel
A belligerent stuffed tiger who enjoys [playing pranks on his friends] and takes his alcohol [early and often]. He is a talented [calligrapher] and cosmetician [link] [link], and apparently knows something about [cars]. Lyle has a mysterious, [possibly criminal], [possibly tragic] past. For a time he also was employed helping recent Male to Female transsexuals "become sexually active and confident in their new bodies" [link]. He has also become involved in pornography. He recently returned from Scotland where he meant to learn how to make scotch, but instead became trapped at a finishing school. He lives at 62 Achewood Court. He's also often seen wearing a Misfits T-shirt.
Téodor Orezscu
Téodor is a teddy bear, as evidenced by [his portrait]. He and his family originate from Minsk, Belarus (his father was an actuary). Though he is Belarusian, the name Orezscu seems to be Romanian in origin. He is a skilled cook, musician and graphic designer, and is also an all around friendly guy. He was originally quite crazy and uninhibited, exhibiting nudist tendencies in early Achewood strips, though he seems to have calmed down a bit over the years. These days he's probably the most "normal" out of the entire Achewood cast, though he is definitely not without quirks of his own (such as his passion for risotto). He had an online relationship with a girl named Penny, but we never really see where that ended up. He is close friends with Philippe and is usually in charge of keeping him out of trouble. He seems to be a recreational user of marijuana and mushrooms. Téodor's birthday is in [early October]. Lie Bot predicted his death to be on April 28, 2005. As it happens, Téodor did die on April 28 [link], after he choked on a Grolsch bottle cap whilst watching BREAST ATTACK ON FUCK MOUNTAIN. However, Lyle [performed] a "Longshoreman's Heimlich" (swift kick to the gut), which dislodged the cap and revived him.
Pat Reynolds
Pat is one of the three original cat characters, along with Roast Beef and Ray. Over the years his role has receded into the background, but his is still a formidable presence. He is generally unpleasant — he typically plays the antagonist — and seems to hate anyone that does not live up to his impossibly high standards of behavior. One of Roast Beef's deaths was at Pat's hands. He seems to suffer from Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and, if his impending lawsuits against those he feels has slighted him are any indicator, has some anger management problems. His interest in Veganism, Zen Buddhism and various social issues seem to be driven less by an appreciation of the philosophies, but more by a desire to feel superior to his friends, and indeed the rest of the world. He will often refuse to buy products or services from companies after minor perceived slights (which are usually not the fault of the business); for example, he claims to have stopped buying Kleenex brand tissues after he accidentally pulled three tissues out of a box instead of one, and stopped shopping at Whole Foods because of disgust with a female employee's visible hair. Peculiarly, he also has an irrational hatred of barbers and hairstylists, as well as toll booth operators, and a fervent belief that the world would be a better place if Mexicans didn't take so long getting into cars. He constructed the rocket that Roast Beef stole and rode to the Moon. He is on the run after escaping from jail (he was convicted for shooting Roast Beef, and later shot Mr Bear too, probably by accident [link]), but it doesn't seem to have affected his lifestyle due to Ray's connections getting him off the hook. He lives quite comfortably on the lam with "Nice Pete," a serial killer he met in jail. Pat has been seen driving a Ford Mustang II. Pat's favorite movie is Memento.
Molly Sanders
A cat, and Roast Beef's on-and-off girlfriend. Roast Beef first met her in Heaven after being shot by Pat. Molly now resides on Earth, living in the pool shed with Roast Beef. Roast Beef's lack of social skills often means their relationship is strained, but Molly's extraordinary patience and tolerance (and Beef's willingness to go along with her sexual adventurousness) often win out. Molly may have been a programmer in a previous life but currently works in the restaurant and bar industry; she has implied in her blog that she is unable to get better work because she remains legally dead. She has held jobs at various bars and restaurants, including Applebee's, Taco Bell (from which she was fired), and The Smoke (a local bar in the underground). For a time, Molly worked at an "upscale tex-mex place" called Butte, until a fire forced its closure. Molly has now secured a job at Starbucks which she claims makes her "the hub of Achewood's social universe." Molly [was involved in] sandwich porn for Vlad when she worked at his Subway restaurant.
Minor characters
- Dr. Andretti
- A cat and one of the Achewood underground's foremost physicians. He was responsible for bringing Roast Beef back from the dead on more than one occasion.
- Andy
- Another robot, basically just a box with legs. Apparently he doesn't like to hang out at Vlad's place too often and owns a red Fender Stratocaster which Vlad finds corny.
- Arthur
- A cat who is part of Pat's anger management class; wears star-shaped glasses. Seems overly enthusiastic about most things and is now verifiably gay.
- Barry Bass
- A fish who complains a lot.
- Blister
- The ghost of Todd the Squirrel's old friend Blister, [vaudeville act showcases his apparent lack of bones. After a performance, he tricked Ray into [
- //chrisonstad.blogspot.com" target="_blank">Blog
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- Charley "Little Nephew" Smuckles ([Blog])
- Chucklebot
- A robot who specializes in making people chuckle. He is gay and he has known this since he was 12. He is always happy and thinks Billy Idol is "such a dish." His chuckles have been getting a bit rough lately.
- Emeril LeGoinegasque and Robert L. "Spongebath" Dane ([Emeril's Blog])
- Leo Fontanette
- A cat who owns the Caddy dealership over in Pintado, and goes to the same gym as Ray. When Leo and Beef met during Beef's first visit to the gym, Beef broke the code of the establishment by complimenting Leo on his thighs. Shortly thereafter, Leo drove his car into a cornfield in a fit of rage (while cursing Ray and Beef), and died there from a heart attack.
- Lie Bot
- A robot that tells lies much of the time. He intersperses snippets of truth as well, so it can be hard to tell when he is actually lying — in fact, despite his name and knowledge of previous lies, the non-robot characters invariably believe him. Phillipe is often the main victim of his lies.
- Michael "Showbiz" Kazenzakis
- Roast Beef's deadbeat twin brother, he is identical to Roast Beef but with hair pulled back into a ponytail. He and Ray seem to have also been friends during childhood, spending much of their time making up cocktails. He is perpetually in deep debt to the Rockford Fosgate Company, a car-audio manufacturer, despite his lack of a car. Showbiz tends to be unwilling or unable to hold down a steady job, generally working as a dishwasher or similar unskilled position although he occasionally panhandles.
- Milklin Honniker
- A cat who has had an unfortunate time attempting to sell things door to door (car seat covers, bird roasters, Jehovah's Witnesses membership, and books for children in "nontraditional family situations"). Most recently he was trying to convince Roast Beef to become a Jehovah's Witness. Ray decided to give him business advice, which Milklin gladly followed. He took out an ad in "Reminiscence" Magazine.
- Peter H. "Nice Pete" Cropes ([Blog])
- Penny
- A (presumably human) woman with whom Téodor had an online relationship. The two have never actually met, though Penny did give Téodor what appears to be a sweater with the letter 'T' on it. He wears the sweater in almost every strip in which he appears.
- Philippe's Mother
- A river otter, probably stuffed, who is Philippe's mother. She has a habit of sending Philippe various things mostly having to do with how Philippe is a "Special Boy." Is a widow and seeing someone new, much to Philippe's dismay, and was also hit on by Vlad at one point. A guest strip by Drew Weing depicting the "filming" of Achewood revealed her to be an abusive "Mommy Dearest" type stage mother; it was given high praise by Onstad but was never firmly established to be canon.
- The Tenmen
- A local three-piece band. Made up of black cats, The Tenmen have played local bars, Ray's parties, and the Great Outdoor Fight. Roast Beef is a huge fan, although Ray, apparently, is not.
- Tina
- A cat with whom Ray has an on-again, off-again relationship. For a time, Tina lived with Molly, who considered her to be the very definition of "lowest common denominator." Tina's birthday is [
- Todd T. Squirrel
- Todd is an illiterate, drug-dealing, often violent squirrel. His illiteracy most likely has led him to be one of the few recurring characters to not have a blog. He is also a heavy drug user (and dealer), and has a characteristic stuttering problem. He drives a miniature squirrel-sized van[China. [Mark Twain character type. He visits Ray after losing his fortune in a dot-com venture, one in which buyers would pay a fee to have their image photomanipulated to make them appear pregnant. He was ostensibly shot by Ray after an altercation over an affair between Culpepper and Tina.[womanizer. He has a strong Eastern European accent, and is apparently from Poland. Though his current occupation is unknown, he was once proprietor of one of at least three Subway sandwich shops in the Achewood underground. He once made a pass at Philippe's mother over the phone. He maintains a friendship with the other robot characters of the strip, and has been known to give advice on women.
- Waterbury
- Ray's former butler, hired by Ray based on a suggestion by Bono's butler. Born in London and formerly employed by James Brown, he also works for a clandestine British government agency. [
Bibliography
- Volume I — A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave
- Volume II — Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar
- Volume III — The Devil's Dictionary
- Volume IV — Ten a.m. and Drunk as a Lord
- Volume V — An Empty Cup of Rum
- Volume VI — The Dude Is From Circumstances
- The Achewood Cookbook
- Nice Pete's A Wonderful Tale
- Roast Beef's Man Why You Even Got To Do A Thing
Miscellaneous
- Chris Onstad participated in Song Fight! by creating cover art and title for "What We Need More of is Science" and "Red Skates." The first title originated as a Roast Beef expression (but only on merchandise). One Song Fight entry was performed by [Milwaukee Youth Center Choir], who also wrote and recorded a theme for Ray's Place, Ray's advice column.
- The geography of [the Achewood Overground] is based on that of the Palo Alto/Stanford area. Dexter University corresponds to Stanford University, Achewood Heights is equivalent to Menlo Park, East Achewood is analogous to East Palo Alto, and the Achewood Estates/Achewood areas refer to different areas of Palo Alto.
- Achewood is sometimes featured in the Chaparral, Stanford University's humor publication, of which Onstad is an editor emeritus.
- A high quality reproduction of the entire Cartilage Head storyline appears in the first issue of [Beeswax Magazine].
- A song by the synth-pop band Freezepop titled "Here Comes a Special Boy" about the character of Phillipe can be downloaded from Freezepop's website.[link]
External links
- [Achewood.com (official site)]
- [Achewiki] — A wiki devoted to Achewood
- [The Great Outdoor Fight] - A fan-fiction wiki detailing the back-story of the Great Outdoor Fight
- [Unofficial, unaffiliated fan-based message board]
- [A review] of Achewood
- [Review] of the never-released collection from Checker Books
- [Ray's Place]
- [Serializer]
- [An interview with Chris Onstad]
- [Interview] at Brian M. Palmer
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