Ankh-Morpork City Watch

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Coat of arms of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Fabricati Diem Pvnc.

The Ankh-Morpork City Watch (originally the Night Watch, commonly referred to as "the Watch") is a fictional police force within the Discworld series of books by Terry Pratchett. The watch is based in the city-state of Ankh-Morpork on the Discworld. While Pratchett initially intended only to give the Watch a minor role in the Discworld novels, it has since made frequent appearances, and several books feature the Watchmen (and women) prominently. As Pratchett himself has stated,"I wanted to give them a spot to shine in the sun, but it turned out to be a full blown tropical vacation."

[Spoiler warningSpoiler warning]: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Contents

Members

The primary members of the watch are (see the linked articles for full details of the characters):

Commander Sir Samuel Vimes

See main article

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson

See main article

Sergeant Angua von Überwald

See main article

Sergeant Detritus

See main article

Sergeant Fred Colon

See main article

Corporal Nobby Nobbs

See main article

Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom

Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly female, changing her name to Cheri. Her name translates in Dwarfish as Sh'rt'azs ('shortarse'). Her family lives in Uberwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is introduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. A webcomic features her ([The Adventures of Cheery Littlebottom]). Cheery was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!.

Constable Reginald Shoe

Reginald Shoe (usually Reg Shoe) is a zombie, and a Constable in the Night Watch. He was introduced in Reaper Man and joined the Watch in Jingo. He died in the Ankh-Morpork Revolution that took place during now-Commander Vimes' first days on the Watch force, some thirty years before the present. (Details in Night Watch.) Reg died from several crossbow bolts to the chest, although it took him some time to realise this. Afterwards he became strongly interested in his own "Dead Rights" movement, spending the years between then and now on creating his "Fresh Start Club", preaching to the cemeteries of the city on how maltreated dead people are, and taking a job as an undertaker merely so that he can leave flyers for the Fresh Start Club on the inside of the coffins.

Reg was hired on to the force by Carrot Ironfoundersson, on the basis that if the authorities maltreated the dead, they needed some more expertise. Since then, the number of complaints doubled - all against Mr. Shoe, who claims it is all because of a lack of understanding of the demands of policing in a multi-vital society. While he spends most of his time outside it, Reg has a grave in the Small Gods cemetery next to the other important casualties in the revolution.

Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets

Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets (sometimes referred to as Visit-the-Ungodly-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets) is a Constable of the City Watch, sometimes known as Visit or Washpot. He first appeared in Feet of Clay.

He is an Omnian human of a gentle but determined proselytising nature. He can clear a large crowd in seconds, just by talking to them about religion and threatening them with pamphlets (principally "Unadorned Facts" and "Battle Call" - whose names bear a curious resemblance to the real-world publications "Plain Truth" and "War Cry"). In off-duty moments he goes door to door with his fellow Omnian, Smite-the-Unbeliever-with-Cunning-Arguments. The origin of his nickname "Washpot" is currently unknown.

Lance-Constable Salacia \"Sally\" von Humpeding

Lance-Constable Salacia "Sally" von Humpeding is a Lance-Constable in the City Watch and the first vampire to join up. Originally from Überwald, she travelled to Ankh-Morpork to join the city watch there. This coincided with the request by Lord Vetinari and the Ankh-Morpork Mission of the Überwald League of Temperance to Commander Sir Samuel Vimes to accept a vampire constable.

"Sally" was greeted with some suspicion by Commander Vimes and deep dislike by Sergeant Angua, who as an Überwaldian werewolf felt that bad blood was involved. Her abilities as a vampire become of great use to the Watch, and she even manages to reach an understanding with Sergeant Angua. "Sally" von Humpeding is introduced in Thud!.

Lance-Constable A.E. Pessimal

A.E. Pessimal was first a government inspector assigned to inspect the Watch and judge whether the Watch gave fair value for the civic funds it used. He is described as a neat little man, with very shiny shoes, and has no friends and no sense of humor. An interesting note is that he does not have a first name, as others would understand--he was 'initialled' at birth rather than named. He was in a position to seriously inconvenience Vimes with difficult questions such as "Why is C.W.St.J. 'Nobby' Nobbs in the Watch? Are you aware you employ a petty criminal?" Eventually, Vimes decides to shake the man up, and swears him in as a Special Constable for the duration of an impending street fight of roughly a thousand trolls and dwarfs. Vimes thought he could scare the man while showing him what it was like to be a copper. Instead, A.E. took his position seriously, to the point of bare-handedly attacking a troll who took a swing at Vimes. A short while later, A.E. came to Vimes' office and was offered the position of Lance-Constable and adjutant, with an estimate that he could be a Sergeant in a year. Vimes' reason for taking A.E. on was of A.E.'s patience and intelligence--Vimes needed someone who could look through paperwork and understand what was being said. As a condition, A.E. was told he'd go on patrol twice a week, so he would be able to learn what's important.

Constable Dorfl

A golem, Dorfl joined the Watch during the events of Feet of Clay, at which time he was set free by Captain Carrot, sustained considerable damage fighting the golem king, and was rebuilt to a considerable degree, granting him a voice (which is rare in golems). Dorfl quickly became the Disc's first ceramic atheist, to the displeasure of at least one god, and has been issued an official chit to label him "alive" to avoid interference in this state of affairs. He will believe in any god whose existence can be proved by rational argument. A thunderbolt to the head is deemed wholly unconvincing: "“I Don't Call That Much Of An Argument,” said Dorfl calmly." He is the apparent founder of the Golem Trust, although this is never conclusively mentioned. Dorfl speaks 'With The Beginning Of Every Word Being Capitalized', and like most golems he is quite literal in his choice of words. Some of his lines take a considerable amount of inspiration from RoboCop, such as his description of his own duties: "To Serve The Public Trust, Protect The Innocent And Seriously Prod Buttock".

Constable Igor

Igor is an Igor who was considered "too modern" for Überwald by his family, and went with Samuel Vimes to Ankh-Morpork. He specialises in genetic experiments ("bio-artificing"), which, on the Discworld, involves really small stitches. His creations include a pet rabbit called Eerie, a particularly suitable name as he grows spare human ears on it. Another early experiment was breeding noses, which act as independent lifeforms until sewn on. He also experimented with swimming potatoes in the hopes of breeding Fish & Chips.

Constable Downspout

Constable Downspout, who first appears in Feet of Clay, is a surveillance expert for the Watch. Being a gargoyle, he is capable of remaining motionless in one spot and watching for days at a time, a "world champion at not moving" as Vimes once put it. He has no use for money and instead receives his salary in pigeons, which he considers quite tasty.

Corporal Buggy Swires

A gnome. Introduced in Jingo (possibly in The Light Fantastic; there was a gnome identified only as Swires), Buggy possesses the hard-nosed, bellicose personality typical of his species, proving able to shout down uncooperative witnesses despite being only six inches tall. He has since established himself as the sole member of the Watch's Airborne Section through his ability to tame various species of bird (most recently a vulture) to act as aerial reconnaissance. He may be of the same race as (though probably of a different tribe to) the Nac Mac Feegle.

History

Note: Some of the information repeated below was taken from The Discworld Companion and the 1999 Discworld Diary, which had a City Watch theme, and has not been confirmed in any of the Discworld novels.

The Ankh-Morpork Watch & Ward was founded in AM 1561 by King Veltrick I. They had full copper armour and a copper shield inscribed "Fabricati Diem, Pvncti Agvnt Celeriter" ("Make the Day, the Moments Pass Quickly", Veltrick's motto). Four days later Veltrick's son assassinated him, and became Veltrick II. Since he had little interest in maintaining a police force the smart armour and equipment of the Watch quickly deteriorated.

At this time there were four separate forces: The Palace Guard, who guarded the palace; the Cable Street Particulars, who served as government intelligence; the Ward, who acted as gate-guards, thief-takers etc. during the day; and the Watch, who served the same purpose in the hours of darkness. The force comprised one commander, five captains, ten sergeants, forty corporals, lance-corporals, constables and lance-constables, and, in times of emergency, a "citizens militia" of varied size.

Public opinion of the Watches (the Ward became known as the Day Watch) was never high, and reached an all time low when a Commander, who had told the public not to take the law into their own hands, was thrown onto the Ankh with a cry of "If it's not in our hands, whose hands is it in?" The Guilds were policing themselves by this point, so the Watch was becoming increasingly irrelevant.

The Watch had a brief respite in AM 1688, following the Ankh-Morpork Civil War, when Commander Suffer-Not-Injustice Vimes and his Ironheads became the city's rulers. However, after he was deposed in favour of the Patricianship the Watch sank even further into obscurity; he was (until recently) the last Watch Commander. Under the rule of the Patricians, not only did Guild Law apply in the Guilds, but the only laws that applied anywhere else were the whims of the man in charge.

By the time of Homicidal Lord Winder's rule as Patrician, there were only a handful of Watch Houses remaining. The Cable Street Particulars were thriving, however, having changed from intelligence agency into a secret police force. During the Revolution of the Twenty-Fifth of May their building was burnt down by members of the Night Watch from Treacle Mine Road. The change in Patricians did not lead to an improvement in perceptions of the Watch, and when Lord Vetinari replaced Lord Snapcase, and even theft was legalised, there seemed to be no point to them at all.

The Night Watch now comprised three men, based in the old Treacle Mine Road Watch House, and all there because they couldn't do anything else. While the Day Watch had become another of the city's gangs, the Night Watch couldn't even manage that. As they saw it, their purpose was to walk down the street chanting "Two o'clock and all's well", and if all wasn't well, they found another street.

This changed when Constable Carrot joined, and the Watch saved the city from a dragon. Following the destruction of their Watch House, they moved to larger premises in Pseudopolis Yard and started recruiting more members, especially from ethnic minorities such as dwarfs, trolls and the undead. The Watch has even admitted a vampire (under duress, of course; Vimes detests vampires for that same reason he does kings and assassins — in his mind, they prey on people). When they saved the Patrician's life Vetinari agreed to increase the force's stature, with new Section Houses being built around the city. The remains of the Day Watch were incorporated into a new City Watch, commanded by Samuel Vimes.

Since then, the Watch has become a proper police force, dealing in crime prevention and investigation, rather than simple thief-chasing. They now have a forensics section, a Traffic Division and the Cable Street Particulars have been revived as a plain-clothes division (although this exists on an ad hoc basis, because Vimes and Carrot believe watchmen should wear a uniform). A Watch Academy has been set up, although watchmen trained there often get "poached" by other Sto Plains city-states who have seen the advantages such a force has. Vimes tolerates this, because it is useful that coppers all over the plains have been trained to obey him.

A Guild of Watchmen exists, having been set up by Corporal Nobbs. It is not often referred to, however, presumably on the basis that "Mister Vimes would go spare".

Another recent addition are "the Specials", based on the Watch's ancient right to establish a Citizen's Militia in emergencies. Known members include the Librarian (who was actually made a Special Constable long before the Militia was set up); Mr Boggis of the Thieves' Guild; Sam Vimes' butler Willikins; and a clacks operative named Andy Hancock who carried a disturbing amount of weaponry.

Ranks

Ranks in the Ankh-Morpork City Watch (and insignia where known) are:

Acting Lance-Constable
Lance-Constable
Constable
Lance-Corporal (one chevron)
Corporal (two chevrons)
Sergeant (three chevrons)
Sergeant-at-Arms (crown over three chevrons)
Captain (one pip)
Commander (comes with a knighthood)

Uniform and equipment

Watch uniform consists of a brown shirt and knee breeches (hence the derogatory nickname of "brownjobs"), chainmail, an iron breastplate, an iron and copper helmet, sandals or boots and a waterproof cape. A watchman will also be issued with an oak truncheon, a sword and crossbow (or cultural weapons of choice) and an hourglass and bell. Special consideration had to be made for the troll Sergeant Detritus. His armor was originally made for a war elephant (though he has since received his own custom-made - and very large - breastplate), and his crossbow is a reformatted siege weapon from which the only safe haven is one hundred yards behind Detritus.

Dress uniform for a Commander of the Watch includes a highly polished breastplate, red tights, and a helmet with plumes. Vimes does not wear this if he can possibly avoid it. The Commander carries a ceremonial truncheon with a silver knob on the end and the legend "Protector of Thee Kinge's Piece" (a spelling mistake that greatly amuses Vimes).

Watch badge

The current watch badge was commissioned following the events of Men at Arms. It is an eight-pointed copper star, with the city coat-of-arms in the centre. Around the arms is written "Fabricati Diem, Pvnc", a truncated version of Veltrick's motto, although Sergeant Colon insists it means "To Protect And Serve". Sam Vimes retains his original badge, a simple copper disc or shield (accounts vary) inscribed AMCW and with the badge number 177. A badge with the motto "The Innocent Have Nothing To Fear" was proposed by Carrot, but vetoed by Vimes.

Communications

Until recently, a watchman could send a message for back-up by ringing his bell as hard as possible. This was briefly replaced by a whistle. Currently, a watchman on patrol will have at least one homing pigeon and a set of semaphore paddles.

The Discworld
Characters:	Albert - Angua - Carrot Ironfoundersson - Cohen the Barbarian - Fred Colon - Death - Detritus - Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler - Gaspode - Greebo - Igor - Bloody Stupid Johnson - Leonard of Quirm - The Librarian - Lu-Tze - The Luggage - Mort - C.W.St J. Nobbs - Susan Sto Helit - Rincewind - Twoflower - Havelock Vetinari - Samuel Vimes - The Witches - Ysabell - Discworld gods - more...
Locations:	Ankh-Morpork - Agatean Empire - Borogravia - Death's Domain - Dungeon Dimensions - Ephebe - Genua - Klatch - Lancre - Muntab - Quirm - Sto Lat - Überwald - Unseen University - XXXX - more...
Other:	Calendar - City Watch - Clacks - Guilds - Magic - Post Office - Stealth Chess - Minor Discworld concepts

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