Asterix and the Secret Weapon
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Asterix and the Secret Weapon is the twenty-ninth volume of the Asterix comic book series, the fifth by Albert Uderzo alone. It parodies feminism and military secrets.
Plot summary
The story begins when a female bard named Bravura comes to the village to teach the children. She has been hired by the women of the village who think that Cacofonix, the current teacher of the village, is giving the children a poor education. Upon hearing this, Cacofonix leaves the village.
When Bravura arrives, the women are enchanted by her singing and the men laugh at it. Bravura is insulted and wonders how the women put up with them.
The next day Bravura asks Impedimenta about this, and tells her not to let her husband boss her around. Impedimenta then tells Vitalstatistix that since she is the chief's wife, she has as much power as he does. They both lose their tempers and Impedimenta hits Vitalstatistix. He then leaves the village, joining Cacofonix in the forest. Impedimenta is then made chief.
Meanwhile, Julius Caesar has another plan to take over the village of indomitable Gauls. Claphamomnibus, swears to bring the "secret weapon" over the ocean discreetly.
Back at the village, the "woman dominance" has caught on to every family, basically destroying the village. Asterix, troubled by all of this from the start, is met by Bravura, who tells him that if both of them settle down together they could become chiefs of the village. Asterix accuses her of coming to the village to do just that, and loses his temper. Bravura kisses him, and Asterix hits her, feeling sorry immediately after.
Asterix is brought before the new chief for breaking their laws by striking a woman, and is given temporary exile. Getafix objects to this, but Bravura argues with him, getting him angry, and leaving the village with Asterix. And not only does Obelix join them, but every other village man as well.
The men actually have a good time in the forest, drinking beer and eating wild boar. Asterix is sent as an ambassador to check on the wives, and they worriedly send clothes to their husbands, in case it gets cold at night in the forest.
Claphamomnibus' ship lands at Gaul, and he unleashes the secret weapon... female legionaries (strongly resembling amazons). Because the Gaul warriors are polite, they cannot fight women, and thus could be defeated.
The men realize this in time to have Cacofonix sing songs in the forest, which anger the gods, causing it to rain and scaring off all animals such as rabbits and snakes (and in one scene even a dragon). This bothers the female Roman scout parties, causing them to retreat many times.
Bravura tries to meet the women as an embassador claiming that if they are both women, they are sisters. The Roman sentry pounds her.
The story ends with the women of the village setting up a mall with the latest styles from Lutetia, and thus, all of the Roman women are immediately absorbed in shopping. The story ends with the Gauls in a good mood, and there seems to be a good mood in Rome as well, for Julius Caesar is the laughingstock of his nation for having had to hire women to defeat the Gauls, and on top of this failure.
Notes
- the original French title translates literally to "The Rose and the Sword" and may be a parody of Guns and Roses
- easily the most unoriginal Asterix story to date, it borrows plot elements and visual gags from a large number of previous stories
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