Bulahla
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Bulahla, coloquially known as cart polo, is a modification of an Attawandarons (Neutral Native American) game. The first Europeans to observe the game may have been fur traders, but the first written record is by Lieutenant John Wiley in 1793 or in early 1794. Wiley, an officer on Sir John Graves Simcoe's Western Ontario tour, wrote in his journal of a "Strange sporte [sic] played by Indians, one man hoisted upon another, the object being to strike an object to a target". Wiley reportedly attempted to induce his British companions to play, but met with little success.
Following the 1994 recovery of Wiley's journals, interest in the sport swelled. The leading Canadian proponent is Chandheeb Rajakumar, a philanthropist in London, Ontario. Rajakumar considered several modifications and modernizations of the game. The final incarnation of the new-rules bulahla involves carts and mallets, and otherwise resembles the game of polo in most respects.
Benjamin Nicholson-Smith, a colleague of Rajakumar, has consistently attempted to form a semi-pro league, but has not yet found adequate support. Nicholson-Smith did succeed in 2005 in building a small facility to host the sport, The John Wiley Memorial Polo Grounds. Owned and operated by J. Morris Hurwitz, the J.W.M.P.G. is the unofficial "home" of bulahla. The Polo Grounds is a flat, paved field with night-lighting and ample parking, with capacity for approximately 500-800 spectators.
Unfortunately, due to the disappointments in creating a professional league, the Polo Grounds have mostly been used for amateur sport. Many amateur teams lack financial support and thus use substandard equipment, often shopping carts and croquet mallets. Several of the amateur players are widely rumoured to have already been signed by Nicholson-Smith in the eventuality of a more organized league. Prominent in the rumours are such stars such as "Flying" Federico Berruti, a top scorer, Mark Jeffrey, a skilled jimmie (cart pusher) and Dave "The Turquoise Menace" Rutt. Jeffrey has just returned from serving a year-long suspension for some inappropriate comments he made regarding the ethnicity of some players on a rival team. Matt Brown, a star zakatista (cart occupant) was considered a shoo-in as captain of a widely-expected Montreal team until his mysterious disappearance in July 2005 following a serious shoulder injury.
As of 2006, rumours of league play have returned. The eccentric Otis, 84th Lord of Seaton and his courtiers Frazz MacDonald and William Demers have expressed interest in forming a North Toronto team. In response, a prospective London team has begun intensive training under the tutelage of Rutt. The likely name of this team is the Forest City Gamesmen, after Stephen Potter's book.
In mid 2006, London City Council received a small number of complaints regarding the increasingly popular game. The complaints centered on Council's reallocation of tax dollars from the London Go-Kart track to the Polo Grounds, citing environmental concerns. Michael Pelz, who is known in London for his vocal opposition to the use of tax money to fund public transit, primarily expressed the reservations. The Board of Control was unmoved by Pelz’s predictably hard-line approach and instead sided with the symbolic figurehead of Bulahla, J. Morris Hurwitz, who presented a spirited defense. Pelz is currently working with his associate, Ms Jessica Lee (nee Knightsbridge), on an appeal to the Ontario Municipal Board in an attempt to suppress Bulahla and several other "sustainable" projects. Ms Jessica Lee is currently being tried for her involvement in several tax evasion schemes.
On July 7th 2006 the biggest Bulahla game in history occured at the J.W.M.P.G. in London, Ontario. Although it was a friendly match, with unofficial teams, the likes of Dave "The Turquoise Menace" Rutt, Mark Jeffrey, "Flying" Federico Berruti, Benjamin Nicholson-Smith, the "Attacking" Atkinson sisters, Nathanial Elias (the designer and constructor of the trial version of the offical Bulahla mallet 1.0), and a foreign exchange athlete, all attended the game. Unfortunately, despite the great promotion and search, there was still no sign of zakatista legend, Matt Brown. The game was a large crowd drawer and a great economic success for the Polo Grounds. J. Morris Hurwitz was quoted saying, "[Bulahla] is always a great event. However, tonight is particularly special. Never have we seen such determination in the eyes of our professional and rookie athletes. In addition, this incredible support from the community will certainly aid the rise of one of the oldest games of our fine continent."
The trial version of the Bulahla mallet was inspired by the legendary athlete best known for his skills as a zakatista, Matt Brown, who desired a mallet that would allow him greater reach and command on the Bulahla field. Brown approached his long-time friend and carpenter, Nathanial Elias, and commissioned from him a prototype that would meet his needs. Six weeks went into design and craft and on July 5th, the final product was unveiled and titled the Mjolnir. The 3 foot long, 1.8 kg mallet has been riddled with controversy since its creation. Outward opposition to its use is lead by Bulahla advocate, Chandheeb Rajakumar, and J. Morris Hurwitz, owner of The John Wiley Memorial Polo Grounds. As a result, the use of Mjolnir has been strictly forbidden in official league play. It may, however, be used in exhibition play, provided there is approval from the head referee. Neither Hurwitz or Rajakumar have issued official statements as to the ban. However, on the night of July 11th, during a private conversation with Elias, Rajakumar was overheard to say, "It is not so much the idea of the Bulahla mallet that troubles me, but rather the notion of a single player weilding specialized equipment to give him or her an unfair advantage over other participants. Bulahla is a trial of the skill and fortitude of the player, not the accoutrements that he or she brings to the field. If there were mallets, such as these, for all zakatistas, then I would have no problem with their use." Rajakumar is also believed to have likened the use of the aforementioned mallet by a single player to the use of a corked bat in baseball.
References
Wiley, John. In the Shadow of a Giant, the Journals of John Wiley. Western Ontario Bulahla Federation. Polo Grounds Bulahla 2005.
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