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Captain Girl

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"Captain Girl" is the sixteenth episode of the animated series Drawn Together.

Storyline

As the housemates are enjoying a relaxing day by the pool, Captain Hero suddenly sees the Hero Signal in the sky, but shrugs it off, claiming that if it's important, his new sidekick Captain Girl will page him. His pager then goes off, and Hero is off to the rescue, but later that day, he returns to the house holding what appears to be Captain Girl's bloody corpse. He tells the housemates that Captain Girl has been killed by the evil Mad Libber, and the only clue he has to solve her murder is a note from the Mad Libber. Naturally, the note is in the form of a Mad Lib, which the housemates solve by filling in every blank with the word "penis".

After Captain Girl's funeral, Captain Hero wonders what he'll do for a sidekick. Wooldoor, who has dreamed of being Hero's sidekick ever since he's been in the house with him, asks for the job; Captain Hero, not really feeling like giving the matter much thought, agrees. Although the pair have some success fighting villains, the relationship between Hero and his new sidekick is rather strained, as Wooldoor can't seem to live up to what Captain Hero thinks a sidekick should be. After a cable car full of people crashes into the mountains because of Hero's apathy and Wooldoor's inability to fly, Hero unfairly blames Wooldoor and fires him.

Wooldoor is despondent, but sees a chance to redeem himself when he sees a news crawl at the bottom of the screen that the Mad Libber is causing havoc again. He rushes to the scene, but he is too late; the Mad Libber has already made his getaway, leaving behind another Mad Lib. Wooldoor at first is unable to make heads or tails of the note, but then realizes that if he tries filling it out with words other than "penis", he might be able to solve the case. With Spanky's help, he does just this, although at Spanky's insistence, he leaves one "penis" in the note, because a Mad Lib just isn't a Mad Lib without the word "penis" appearing at least once. The finished note tells Wooldoor that the Mad Libber is planning to blow up the town's dam, and will detonate the bomb by remote control from the "penis" tower. When Wooldoor finally locates the penis tower, sure enough, the Mad Libber is on the roof, preparing to unleash his evil scheme. He confronts the Mad Libber about the death of Captain Girl, but the Mad Libber informs him that there's no such person; Captain Hero has never had a sidekick because nobody else can stand to work with him. Wooldoor then sees Captain Hero standing off to the side, and Hero steps in to tell him the truth, that he pretended to have a sidekick because he was jealous of all the other superheroes with sidekicks. Wooldoor comforts Captain Hero by offering to be his sidekick again, an offer which Hero gladly accepts. While Hero and Wooldoor are sharing this heartwarming moment together, the Mad Libber flees the scene, but not before he sets off the bomb and blows up the dam, flooding the entire town.

Toot looks for "baby gravy".
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Toot looks for "baby gravy".

Meanwhile, a seriously depressed Toot is trying to fill the void in her life with something other than food, and upon seeing a happy young mother, thinks she has found the answer: a baby. She resolves to get herself pregnant, so when none of the other housemates will have sex with her, she gets a black light to detect the presence of semen in the house. The light reveals the entire house (as well as Foxxy and Xandir's bodies) to be covered in the stuff, but finds a veritable gold mine of it in the hot tub. As Toot immerses herself in the hot tub, Foxxy, Clara, and Xandir suggest to Toot that before she gets pregnant, she should try an experiment to see if she is ready for motherhood. After Clara tells Toot about a school project where the kids have to carry eggs around for a week, they give Toot something with which she can try the same experiment—a baby from Nicaragua.

Toot's mothering skills, unfortunately, leave something to be desired, as she spends more time drinking than taking care of the baby. The baby turns out to be a bratty tramp who finally runs away from home. Toot becomes distraught and orders the housemates to go find the baby while she lies by the pool drinking. The baby is found, but not by any of the housemates; a woman from Child Services confronts Toot and tells her that the baby has not only been caught shoplifting, but is pregnant. As Foxxy, Clara, and Xandir gather around the operating table with her, Toot berates the baby harshly for becoming a mother without considering the responsibilities of motherhood, then quickly realizes that is exactly what she herself did. As the baby delivers its own baby, the housemates laugh over the lesson Toot has learned, right before the Child Services woman shows up to take both babies away.

Musical number: "Captain Hero Theme", a parody of the famous Batman theme song.

Notes and inside references

Toot protects her baby with a circle of fire.
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Toot protects her baby with a circle of fire.

Cultural references

Wooldoor in his new role as Captain Hero's sidekick.
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Wooldoor in his new role as Captain Hero's sidekick.

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