Christian Rock Hard
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"Christian Rock Hard" is episode 709 of Comedy Central's South Park. It originally aired on October 29, 2003.
Plot
When the other boys kick Cartman out of their band, "Moop", for suggesting that they play Christian rock, Cartman forms his own group to make music for Jesus not for spiritual rewards, but to profit from the wide audience for this kind of music. Cartman and Kyle bet each other $10 that their respective band will be the first to go platinum by selling one million records.
Stan, Kyle and Kenny, seeking "inspiration", decide to download music from the Internet (because CDs are too expensive) and they are arrested for illegal downloading. The police chief shows them the consequences of downloading. Musicians like Lars Ulrich (drummer of metal band Metallica) and Britney Spears must substitute the most extravagant purchases for merely extravagant ones. As budding musicians, Moop decides to go on strike until fans stop downloading, and are joined by a large number of pop and rock stars.
Meanwhile, Cartman, Butters and Token (who, according to Cartman, can play bass because he is black) have rocketed to the top of the Christian rock charts, with Cartman simply tweaking the lyrics of love ballads to include Jesus' name.
Their band, Faith + 1, soon celebrates the sale of its millionth album. Stan, Kyle and Kenny realize that the satisfaction of having fans should surely be more important to musicians than fighting against fans, who make them popular and come to see their concerts. Moop decides to stop striking, although the other (more famous) musicians decline, saying "sorry, we're all about the money."
At an expensive awards ceremony to celebrate Faith + 1's success, their record label present them with a myrrh album. This means Kyle hasn't lost the bet; Christian record companies only hand out gold, frankincense and myrrh records, so Cartman can never have a platinum album. His frustration leads him to says, "Aw, fuck Jesus!", making the fans scream and flee. Token is mad because Cartman has spent all the band's money. Cartman calls Token a "black asshole" and, driven to breaking point, Token beats Cartman up and walks away. The boys feel that Cartman got what he deserved and leave. As Cartman is on the ground in pain, Butters tops it off by farting in his face, giving him the finger and says "Fuck you, Eric!"
Trivia
- The part of the episode when Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are caught downloading free music is a reference to the Napster case before the company was shut down.
- The name of Cartman's band, Faith + 1, is likely a parody of Christian boy band Plus One; their name is also similar to that of Faith No More.
- The lyrics to the songs that Cartman writes express physical love (eros), rather than spiritual love (agape) for Jesus. For example, "I wanna get down on my knees, and start pleasin' Jesus. I wanna feel his salvation all over my face." According to the commentary for this episode, the creators expressed that they, at one point, wanted to make a Christian rock band which expressed physical love for Jesus.
- The creators expressed they were surprised they got away with Cartman saying "Fuck Jesus!" (even though Fuck was censored).
- The fact the episode suggests illegal downloading is OK reflects the genuine belief of the creators, who have no problem with episodes of the show being downloaded. [link]
- We learn that Butters has a talent to calculate large numbers very quickly.
- Cartman is seen writing lyrics on his hand while on a bus listening to music, like in the movie 8 Mile starring Eminem.
- On the headed letter from Faith + 1's record company inviting Moop to the ceremony, they actually say that Faith + 1 will receive a "platinum record", which turns out not to be true.
- Cartman's prime example of a successful Christian rock band is Creed. However, Creed's lead singer Scott Stapp denied that Creed was a Christian rock band.
- Stevie Wonder, Judas Priest, and Journey are mentioned in the episode.
- Bands and artists joining Moop's strike are, among others, Rancid, Ozzy Osbourne, Meat Loaf (all three also playing in Chef Aid), Blink-182, Metallica, Britney Spears, Missy Elliot, Alanis Morissette and The Lords of the Underworld.
- The newscaster speaks of a "Strike-apalooza", a reference to the Lollapalooza festival series.
- Christfest is perhaps a spoof of Ozzfest, being a large, touring Christian music festival, although real festivals with that name exist, e.g. [Christfest New Orleans].
- In real life Christian artists can indeed receive platinum albums. [Myrrh Records] is actually the name of one of the largest Christian music labels.
- When Cartman originally took the picture, Butters is to the close left and Token is to the far right, but when the album is first shown, Token is to the close left and Butters is in the far right and the background is also different from when the picture was first taken.
| Preceded by: South Park Is Gay! | South Park episodes | Followed by: Grey Dawn |
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