Days of Wine and D'oh'ses
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"Days of Wine and D'oh'ses" is the eighteenth episode of the eleventh season of The Simpsons. It aired on April 9, 2000.
Plot Synopsis
After watching a video of his birthday party, Barney sees he is a hideous drunk, and he promises to get sober. At first, he finds sustaining sobriety tough, but he finds his way to an AA meeting with Homer's help. Meanwhile, to get their picture on the cover of the new phone book, Bart and Lisa decide to enter an amateur photo contest. In the closet, they find an old camera and start to take snapshots.
Barney makes plans to change his life now that he is clean and sober. The Springfield Flight School is his first stop, where he takes helicopter-flying lessons. Barney gives Homer a ride in the helicopter a few lessons later. While in the air, they get into a big disagreement which troubles their relationship.
Bart and Lisa are taking pictures atop Mt. Springfield when Bart starts a forest fire by carelessly discarding a hot flashbulb. The children are in imminent danger, and Barney and Homer must band together to save them. They hop into the helicopter, but Barney is so nervous, he doesn't think he can do it sober. When a Duff beer truck comes to a sudden stop, spilling its contents in front of a weakening Barney, Homer refuses to let him give up on sobriety and drinks an entire six-pack in his place. Together, Barney and a drunken Homer save the kids. Barney's confidence and his relationship with Homer are restored, and he looks forward to an alcohol-free future, although he is now addicted to double-tall mocha lattés.
Goofs
- The She-Hulk shown on the comics is blond, while the real She-Hulk has black hair.
- When Lenny says that the police car door has been on Barney a while, it can't have been more than a week, as he clearly doesn't have it at the birthday party.
- Homer says "Look what the Hawaiian restaurant threw out." but captions say " The Hawaiian restaurant closed.".
Quotes
- Moe (as Barney rapidly drinks his lattes): Nobody gets away from Moe. Nobody. ''(presses a button on the latte machine, which emits steam blocking out everything. Moe begins to laugh evilly, but then coughs)
- Barney: World, meet the new and improved Barney Gumble. (goes down a firepole into Moe's) Give me a beer!
Moe: I knew you'd be back. (to a Santeria shrine he created) Santeria, you're the greatest. - Barney: I can't believe I forgot my birthday. (raises his left arm, revealing that his wrist is handcuffed to a police car door) How long has this been around?
Lenny: Oh, you've had that for a while.
Carl: Yeah, I can't picture you without it. - Barney (drunk): I'm just saying that when we die, there's gonna be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese, and we'll all be a lot happier.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble, you're upsetting me.
Barney: No I'm not! - Marge: You have other friends, like Lenny or Carl.
Homer: Lenny and Carl suck! Please don't tell Lenny and Carl I said that! If I ever lost them as friends... (cries) - Bart We should be safe up here. I'm pretty sure fires can't climb trees.
- Bart: You did it, Dad!
Homer (drunk): You can't prove I did it.
Lisa: No, you saved our lives.
Homer (drunk): I could do a lot of things if I had some money.
Lisa: What? - (on a lazy day, Bart and Lisa watch a show resembling Teletubbies)
Ga Ga: Hurt everyone!
Lisa: Did Ga Ga just say "hurt everyone"?
Bart: Heh. "Ga Ga". Cute name.
(the show goes to commercial. A phone book with a question mark on the cover spins into view)
TV Announcer: The Springfield Phone Book needs a new cover!
Bart and Lisa: It does?!
Announcer: Send us your snapshots and if we select yours, you could win a fabulous "Mystery Prize"! (several spotlights show the "Mystery Prize", which is obviously a bicycle. A child actor comes out and rides the prize off camera) To enter, send your pictures to this address! (the address appears: "SPRINGFIELD BELL SPRINGFIELD, USA P.O. BOX 2153-1264 ROOM RR-312-BB5 ATTN: PHOTO SUBMISSIONS SUPERVISOR". It appears for a split second) Too quick? Here it is again! (the address appears again for a split second. For the rest of the ad, it moves across the screen quickly) Here it is! Coming in from the left! Don't delay! Do it today!
Bart: You think we should enter?
Lisa: Sure. It shouldn't be too hard to beat the old photo.
(Lisa brings out the old phone book. On the cover is a picture of Mr. Burns, tenting his fingers and grinning evilly. Bart shudders) - (Nelson steals a photo of dogs playing poker Bart and Lisa were going to send)
Lisa: Now we'll never win the contest.
Bart: Let's dump spaghetti on Maggie's head!
Lisa: That picture's just a cliché.
Bart: Picture? - Marge: Kids! The new phone books are here and your picture's on the cover!
(Bart and Lisa run downstairs, excited. Their excitement turns to screams when they see the cover picture: baby Bart and Lisa, buck naked, on the toilet)
Marge: Isn't that cute? I guess some baby pictures were on that old role of film.
Bart: Oh, we'll be the laughing stock of the town!
Lisa: Well, at least we won the bike.
Marge: Actually, I took the picture, so I gave my prize to the orphanage!
Bart: You what?!
Lisa: How could you?!
Marge: Just kidding. I would never do that.
(Marge brings out the bike and they all embrace) - Bart: (to Lisa, pointing at a fat Ranier Wolfcastle) Is that Ranier Wolfcastle? Check out the gut!
Ranier: It's for a movie! I'm playing a fat secret agent. - Barney: My name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic.
Lindsay Nagle: Well, your recovery begins today and we promise to give you all the sugar cookies and second-hand smoke you can handle.
Homer: These sugar cookies you speak of, are they real or symbolic?
Lindsay: They're on that table over there.
Homer: Oh, I don't want to walk twelve steps...because anything that takes "twelve steps" isn't worth doing! Get it?! Twelve?! Steps?! (laughs, then the camera cuts to Homer being outside) Hey, how'd I get out here?
Trivia
- Moe's home address, according to mail coming through the slot, is 57 Walnut Street, Springfield, USA.
- Things seen in the Simpson' closet include:
the Mr. Plow jacket from "Mr. Plow"
Grampa's Emmy award from "The Front"
Homer's space helmet from "Deep Space Homer"
the town crier hat and bell from "Lisa the Iconoclast"
Homer's boxing glove from "The Homer They Fall"
the Civil War figurine from "Homer's Phobia"
the Mr. Sparkle box from "In Marge We Trust"
and a Nero's Palance coffee mug from "Viva Ned Flanders"
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