Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand

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Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand is an episode of Clone High.

Plot

Synopsis

JFK is holding a kegger to celebrate the beginning of the new school year. Abe wants to go, so he can get closer to Cleo, and Gandhi wants to go, so he can be cooler, but JFK forbids them from going – until they promise to bring the beer. Joan starts a Teen Crisis Hotline in an attempt to get Abe to notice her. The Secret Board of Shadowy Figures wants Scudworth to prove he knows what it’s like to be a teenager at Clone High.

Episode walkthrough

It's the end of summer vacation and Abe, Joan, and Gandhi are returning to Clone High for the new school year. Joan tells Abe that she plans on dating more. Abe completely misses implied meaning off her statement. He is too preoccupied with the thought of his own crush: Cleo. Joan is undaunted, and, believing Abe likes Cleo for “her commitment to community service,” tries to gain Abe's affection by starting a Teen Crisis Hotline.

JFK is having a kegger. Abe wants to go to have a chance to talk to Cleo. Gandhi, looking to improve his image and hang around with cooler people, is also excited for the party. Their plans are thwarted by JFK, who warns Abe to stay away from Cleo, and both of them to stay away from the party. However, Abe manages to get invited when he promises to bring the beer.

Meanwhile, Shadowy Figure, the head of the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures, comes to talk to Scudworth. The Secret Board is (justifiably) worried that Scudworth is completely insane. In order to keep his job (and not be killed), Principal Scudworth must write a report proving that he knows what it's like to be a student at Clone High. His life on the line, he promises to turn in a report. Scudworth tries to get some perspective on the issue by tying up and interrogating Joan, but he gets angry ends up sending her into his Death Maze. He realises that the best way to find out about the clones is to observe them “in their natural habitat,” so he and Mr. Butlertron disguise themselves as students and infiltrate JFK’s party.

Abe, meanwhile, is busy trying to figure out how he will get the beer he promised. After numerous failed attempts to buy the beer - with the "help" of Genghis Khan - he decides to bring non-alcoholic beer to the party.

At JFK's kegger, all the clones think they are getting drunk, not knowing that the beer is non-alcoholic. Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron arrive on the scene, poorly disguised, and are quickly exposed. The principal is then hung upside-down from the ceiling and used as a piñata by Genghis.

Gandhi is also at the party, despite having promised Joan to take the night off to work the Teen Crisis Hotline. He absolves himself of any guilt he might have from ditching his post by forwarding the calls to his cell phone, but he winds up putting Vincent van Gogh on speaker phone, publicly humiliating him, and van Gogh swears revenge.

Joan is also at the party, but is depressed that Abe is only interested in Cleo. She talks to Mr. Butlertron, who convinces her that she has to make the first move. She rushes back to the party to confess her feelings for Abe, but finds Abe making out with Cleo. JFK breaks up the pair and declares that Cleo is too drunk to realize who she's kissing. The two boys demand that she choose between them. Cleo contacts the Teen Crisis Hotline and ends up speaking to Joan. When Joan realizes who she's speaking to she tells Cleo to choose JFK so that she can have Abe to herself; she then has an attack of conscience and switches her answer. Cleo returns to the party and picks Abe.

Joan then catches Gandhi giving out horrible drunken advice, tasers him, and, to humiliate him, takes off his pants. He says, “Good thing no one was around to see that,” not noticing van Gogh in the bushes...

The kegger is brought to an abrupt halt when a cop car shows up. Gandhi and Joan are singled out (being that only two people can fit in the back of the squad car), and are charged with underage drinking. Abe sacrifices his potential relationship with Cleo to save his friends by admitting, in front of everyone, that the beer is non-alcoholic. He delivers an impassioned speech about how he was only seeking the same thing that we all are - acceptance. He is immediately laughed out of the party.

The next day, Scudworth, who has not written a report, is confronted by the head of the Secret Board, who threatens to kill him. Scudworth tucks into a fetal position and moans about how he was “degraded, humiliated, and judged.” When Scudworth gets up, Shadowy Figure is gone. Scudworth has proven he does know what it's like to be a student (and a piñata). With his job and his life secure, the principal is free to go about his normal routine, acting just as nastily towards the clones as ever.

Meanwhile, Abe is depressed: He lost Cleo, and everyone is still making fun of him. Gandhi tries to cheer him up by telling him that it's only a matter of time before someone else makes a bigger idiot of themselves, and everyone forgets about what he did. Moments later, karma takes its revenge on Gandhi, as he himself becomes the new focus of humiliation. Van Gogh paints an ad for the Teen Crisis Hotline featuring a less-than-flattering picture of Gandhi naked. At that moment, JFK and Cleo, now a couple, pass by Abe. Cleo quietly hands Abe a note, which says: "Sorry...Luv, Cleo."

Featured cast

• Andy Dick - Mr. Sheepman, Vincent van Gogh, police officer
• Donald Faison - George Washington Carver, Wally
• Neil Flynn - Carl

Featured clones

• Julius Caesar
• Marilyn Monroe
• the Elvis twins
• Genghis Khan
• Nostradamus
• George Washington Carver
• Eleanor Roosevelt (see section for further discussion)
• Nikola Tesla (‘Tesla Rules’ is written on the chalkboard in the classroom)
• the Brontë sisters
• George Washington
• Paul Revere
• Vincent van Gogh
• Babe Ruth

Deleted scenes

• After JFK mentions having invading Marilyn Monroe’s “Bay of Pigs,” Caesar originally replied, "Veni, vidi, booyah!" This was a reference to Original Julius Caesar’s famous declaration, "Veni, vidi, vici," a Latin phrase meaning, "I came, I saw, I conquered."
• A longer, pre-credits opener, with the Announcer saying, “Tonight, on a very special Clone High... A main character must make an important choice. A supporting character has an amusing side story. While a mysterious subplot reveals the shocking truth behind Clone High.”
• *The important choice likely refers to Cleo’s choice between Abe and JFK (or maybe Abe’s choice between Cleo and Joan, or Joan’s choice of whether or not to be honest with Cleo).
• *The amusing side story likely refers to Gandhi forwarding the calls (or Scudworth dressing up like a teenager, or Abe buying non-alcoholic beer).
• *The mysterious subplot doesn’t refer to anything at all. There is no shocking truth behind Clone High, because almost the entire back story is revealed during the opening credits.
• A scene involving a Hall & Oates cover band featuring Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and Stevie Ray Vaughn.
• *This scene was later changed to the same people having an “'N Sync or Backstreet Boys cover band” called Black Box, and then the joke was removed entirely.
• **This was a reference to the black boxes used to understand airplane and helicopter crashes, such as the airplane crash that killed Holly and Valens and the helicopter crash that killed Vaughn.
• **A different joke about the crashes that killed Holly, Valens, Vaughn and others was used in Episode 7, .
• A joke where Jimi Hendrix greets Nostradamus by saying, "What's the word, Nostradamus?"; and Nostradamus replies, "I knew you were going to say that!"
• *A sound clip of this joke can be heard [here] (click 'henrix_nostradamus').
• *A version of this joke appeared later on, in Episode 12, .
• Several jokes involving JFK at The Grassy Knoll diner, such as an announcement, “Kennedy, you can pick up your smoothie at the juice depository,” (a Kennedy assassination reference, to the Texas School Book Depository) or JFK simply saying, “Something about this place gives me the creeps,” or, “I hate this place.”

References

Historical references

• When Marilyn Monroe says hello to JFK, he tells Julius Caesar that he "invaded her Bay of Pigs." It is often claimed Original JFK had an affair with Original Marilyn Monroe. The euphemism that JFK uses refers to the Bay of Pigs Invasion, which was led by Original JFK.
• In the bathroom, Gandhi points to JFK making the "bang bang" gesture with his hands, to which JFK flinches. This is another reference to Original JFK's assassination.
• *In the same scene, Gandhi calls JFK “Fitzy baby.” Original JFK’s middle name was Fitzgerald.
• All the clones hang out at a diner called The Grassy Knoll; another reference to Original JFK's assassination.
• *It is implied that Clone (and maybe also Original) Eleanor Roosevelt is a lesbian. This plays into the stereotype of the "butch" lesbian, but also refers to the belief that Original Eleanor Roosevelt may have been bisexual.
• The background design in van Gogh’s room is in completely different style from anything in the show, but rather looks like a van Gogh painting.
• *The night sky outside van Gogh’s window is reminiscent of van Gogh’s painting, The Starry Night (1889).
• *A painting that looks a lot like on of van Gogh’s self-portraits can be seen above van Gogh’s bed.
• **The painting, entitled Self-portrait (1889), can be viewed [here].
• *The background of van Gogh’s ad for the Teen Crisis Hotline also resembles The Starry Night.
• When Joan kicks JFK after he makes a pass at her, he grunts, "Bobby!" Robert Kennedy was Original JFK's younger brother.

Popular culture references

• The first part of the title is likely a reference to the movie Escape to Witch Mountain.
• The International House of Beer is a reference to the International House of Pancakes.
• The music in JFK’s house is reminiscent of a-ha’s “Take on Me.”
• Scudworth wears a Fat Boys t-shirt to the party, while Mr. Butlertron has a Flavor Flav-style clock around his neck.

Trivia

• The second part of the title of the episode is also part of the title of Scudworth's unwritten report, "What It's Like To Be A Teenage Clone: A Rope of Sand." The use of a colon in the title became a running gag, as every episode following had colons in their title (except for the second episode).
• *Titling a report with a colon, followed by the phrase 'A Rope of Sand' was a ploy actually used by Clone High creator Christopher Miller to make his university essays sound more academic and high-minded.
• Michael J. Fox's role as Gandhi's remaining kidney is an unusual one for a guest star in that it is not only short, but also insignificant. His only line is "I miss him" and it is only part of a short joke near the beginning of the episode. Michael J. Fox had one of the starring roles in Bill Lawrence's earlier sitcom, Spin City.
• *Several Clone High featured cast members are stars of Lawrence's current sitcom, Scrubs.
• We are introduced to the clone of Eleanor Roosevelt in this episode. She is older than any of the other cloned historical figures, and works as the gym teacher at Clone High.
• *Mr. Sheepman, another teacher at Clone High, mentions he is a human-sheep hybrid clone. Together, the two clone teachers suggest that in the Clone High universe, advanced cloning technology has been around for decades.
• Gandhi imagines a party where he brings the beards. Being Gandhi’s fantasy sequence, he is accompanied a beautiful woman in lingerie.
• Abe tries to get beer at the International House of Beer and at the Gas n’ Save n’ Guzzle n’ Such.
• It is revealed JFK acts "overly macho" to compensate for his two gay foster dads, Wally and Carl, who he describes as like "that show My Two Dads... only more gay.”
• *This is the first in a series of scenes throughout the show, where each clone reveals how they have dealt with the legacies of their original versions, and how they have become who they are.
• *A similar scene occurs later, when Gandhi explains that he became “a non-stop party machine” because he buckled under the pressure of living up to Original Mahatma Gandhi.
• **The fact that he agrees to volunteer at the Teen Crisis Hotline suggests he still does have some of the altruistic spirit of the original Gandhi.
• Van Gogh’s ad for the Teen Crisis hotline shows Gandhi naked, and says “Teen Crisis Hotline: No Problem Too Small!”
• During the episode, Gandhi jumps and falls several stories twice, both times because of he is frightened of Joan and doesn’t want to volunteer for the Teen Crisis Hotline.
• The phrase “underage drinking” is said five times during the episode.

Notes

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