Faith Off

"Faith Off" is the eleventh episode of The Simpsons' eleventh season. The episode aired on January 16, 2000.

Synopsis

[Spoiler warningSpoiler warning]: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Homer visits Springfield University (from "Homer Goes to College") to pull a prank on Dean Bobby Peterson with his old nerd friends, Benjamin, Doug, and Gary. He tries to put a bucket filled with glue on his head, but he ironically sees a glue-filled bucket get on his head. The bucket is stuck on his head, and he cannot get it off, and other attempts fail. The family attends a religious revival, hosted by a faith healer named Brother Faith, and Bart pulls the bucket off Homer's head. Brother Faith considers this act a sign that Bart has the "gift" of healing. Lisa is skeptical and attempts to use reason to explain that the sun heated the metal bucket, allowing Bart to pull it off. Undaunted, Bart becomes a faith healer, pulls miracles of his own, and even forms his own church where he heals Springfield's residents.

The church is cut short, however, when Milhouse is run down after he mistakes an oncoming truck for a dog. Bart had "healed" him of his myopia during his revival meeting by knocking his glasses off his face. Subsequently, Bart decides to end his career as a faith healer. Meanwhile, Homer prepares for Springfield University's homecoming football game by building a float that he has fashioned out of flowers he has stolen from Ned Flanders. At the game, everyone (including the family) cheers for S.U.'s football team's star player, a kicker named Lubchenko. Homer gets drunk and forgets he has made a float to celebrate SU. He crowd surfs down to the playing field, and runs to his float. Unfortunately, the other floats have left the field and the players have come back on. Homer drives his float over the leg of Lubchenko, who is horribly wounded. Fat Tony threatens to kill Homer with an ice pick if Lubchenko doesn't return to the game. Homer convinces Bart to try and heal the kicker. Bart prays to God to help him heal the kicker. With his team down by 2 points, Lubchenko returns to the game and kicks the winning field goal, losing his leg in the process. Bart announces at the end of the game that he doesn't have special powers and is not a healer.

Quotes

Ralph: (after Bart kicks him in the back of the head, several coins fall out of Ralph's nose) My milk money! (milk falls out) And my milk!
Reverend Lovejoy: Perhaps it's time to fight razzle with dazzle. (he plays his guitar) Mi... Michael, row...row... row the boat...
(the guitar makes a bad squeaking noise)
Todd: Is he killing that guitar, Daddy?
Ned: Yes, son.
Benjamin: That Dean is going to get an indignant e-mail!
Doug: You should do it in bold red letters.
Gary: My computer has 512 shades of red.
Doug: I've been working on a program that will download porn one million times faster.
Marge: Why would someone need all that porn?
Homer: (drooling) Oh, a million times faster.
Homer (after the bucket is finally removed): I see the light...IT BURNS!!!
Lisa Do they have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: I think the veal might have died of loneliness.
Marge Oh, he should have his leg insured by Lloyds of London.
Homer(drunkenly) Oh, you just know what everyone should do, don't you Marge?
Bart: Why won't anybody listen to me? I AM NOT A HEALER!
Dr. Hibbert Fine. More money for me!
Homer: Springfield A&M? That's a cow college!
Lenny: You're just saying that because it was founded by a cow.

Bart:I was a sinner a real bad kid, what thou shall not i shall did. Neighbor's cat i tried to neuter, took a whiz on the school computer.
Sherri&Terri: He took a whiz oh yes he did!
Bart:Now i changed this is no lie, so come on up and testify!!!
Sherri&Terri: Testify, testify. come on up and testify!
Grampa Simpson: My hips misbehavin(Bart kicks his cane away)
Patty/Selma: I got a nicotine Cravin(Bart smacks the cig out her mouth)
Prof. Fink: I got a pain my glavin(Bart Kicks him in the back)

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