Jasper Beardley
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Jasper Beardley is a fictional character from the television series The Simpsons. He is one of the more elderly residents of Springfield, and a resident of Springfield Retirement Castle, along with Abe Simpson and Old Jewish Man.
History
Jasper was shot, in his artificial leg, by Waylon Smithers, on the same night of the nearly fatal shooting of Mr. Burns. He also claimed to have "broke" his beard during a Death Race accident with Grandpa Simpson and Crazy old man and even managed to get his beard stuck in a pencil sharpener while substituting for the striking teachers of Springfield Elementary.Jasper unsuccessfully auditioned for The Be Sharps (Homer's Barbershop Quartet) by singing "Theme From A Summer Place".
Jasper has had various problems with sight, and was once cured of his blindness, by a laser fired by a house's security protection equipment, only to be blinded again almost immediately. He accepted this very quickly- "Oh well. Easy come, easy go."
Jasper was once frozen in a freezer, at the Kwik-E-Mart, and under advice from Dr. Nick Riviera, Apu kept him frozen. When Jasper's frozen form became popular with customers, Apu started exploiting the spectacle, and transforming the Kwik-E-Mart into a special interest store dealing with weird items (or as it turned out perfectly ordinary items, which had been made out to be abnormal (For example, a cash machine that dispenses pictures of dead presidents)). Jasper (or "Frostillicus," as Apu renamed him) was accidentally unfrozen, and stepped out into what he thought was a future world, just as Apu was considering selling him to the Rich Texan.
Quotes
- As a substitute teacher: "Talking in class - that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals - that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe - hoo boy, you better believe that's a paddling."
- After being thawed from the Kwik-E-Mart freezer: "Moon Pies, what a time to be alive."
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