Medical humor
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Medical humor is a kind of professional humor that pokes fun at medicine. Doctors, especially surgeons and pathologists, are frequently the subject of jokes.
- A psychiatrist, an internist, a surgeon and a pathologist go duck hunting. The psychiatrist goes "There's a bird", shoots, kills. He concludes "it looked like a duck, sounded like a duck, was killed by duck shot, it was a duck!". The internist point his gun, but does not shoot. "This probable bird certainly looks like a female mallard, but I must be sure of what I am killing before shooting. A juvenile Mesopotamian sea duck would look exactly the same!". The surgeon goes "look, it flies! Boom", then turns to the pathologist and asks "So, what was it?".
- How do you hide a $1,000 bill from a surgeon? You hide it in an internal medicine textbook. How do you hide it from an orthopedic surgeon? you hide it in any book. From a radiologist? you stick it on the patient's chest (paper does not show on X-Rays). From a pathologist? no need to hide it, he does not know what a $1,000 bill looks like.
- Pathologists have a very low suicide rate. It is difficult to kill oneself by jumping out a basement window.
- Psychiatrists know nothing and do nothing, internists know everything but do nothing, surgeons know nothing but do everything, pathologists know everything, do everything but too late.
- A patient has left theatre, and is coming round from the anaesthesia. The Doctor calls in to check on him and says, "Well, it appears your operation was a complete success. We've removed your entire left-hand side, and you're all right now!"
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