Minor Discworld concepts

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This article details minor Discworld concepts: concepts and ideas from the Discworld of novels by Terry Pratchett which only appear in the background, or are not well fleshed out.

Contents

Anorankh

An anorankh is a pseudo-mystical symbol, consisting of an ankh wearing an anorak. It stems from a discussion on alt.fan.pratchett, a newsgroup for fans of British author Terry Pratchett, creator of the highly popular Discworld series of humorous fantasy novels. One user mistakenly used the word "anorak" to refer to the ancient Egyptian symbol of life, the "ankh". A series of puns ensued which was eventually joined by Pratchett himself, who commissioned the first Holy Anorankh from Clarecraft, the company responsible for creating the series of official Discworld figurines. Clarecraft eventually made two designs commercially available, one silver and one pewter. Both designs are generally worn as necklaces or earrings, and they have since become an unofficial symbol of Pratchett-fandom.

In Maskerade, Granny Weatherwax remarks that a girl named Colette is wearing "interesting earrings." This is a reference to a fan that Terry met at a convention; being impressed with her Anorankh earrings, he offered her a cameo in his next novel.

Images of both Holy Anorankh designs are available on the Clarecraft website [link]; if you're having a hard time finding it there, you can see one [here].

[The L-Space Web's A.F.P (alt.fan.pratchett) Timeline] [Martin Walser's anorak post]

Anti-crime

A rare type of crime, or rather, the opposite of crime. An anti-crime, as defined in Reaper Man, must:

... be done in such a way that it causes outrage and/or humiliation to the victim. Merely giving someone something is not enough. Examples of this type include breaking-and-decorating, proffering-with-intent, and whitemailing (for example threatening to reveal a mobster's donations to charity).

Even on the Discworld, or more likely, especially on the Discworld, anti-crime has never really caught on.

Background magic

On the Discworld, where magic has more in common with particle physics than Houdini, high-level background magic is what happens where a very powerful spell hits, creating a myriad of sub-astral particles that severely distort local reality. Building a house, or even walking into a region where this has happened is extremely dangerous.

If you prefer to remain the same species, shape or level of sanity, stay out of these places.

Low-level background magic simply refers to the standing magical field that allows the Discworld to exist at all. Medium levels cause odd effects, such as coins landing on their edges, and high levels can lead to reality weakening, allowing the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions to enter.

This concept of the ramifications of magic is not unique to the Discworld. In Final Fantasy VII, drawing on Materia and Mako Energy from the planet's Lifestream begins to harm the planet. In the roleplaying game Rifts, the large release of potential psychic energy into the ley lines opens Rifts in reality. In Nightbane, areas where magic is commonly used may have residual energies creating a being out of magic, or attract ghosts or spirits.

In contempory occult theory the idea that repeated magical or spiritual acts may have such an effect are common.

Battle of Koom Valley

The inhospitable Koom Valley was home to an ancient battle between dwarfs and trolls that both species came to use as an excuse for their mutual enmity. It was said to be the only known battle in which both sides ambushed the other, and acted as inspiration for the development of the game of Thud.

Later engagements have led to a total of sixteen battles of Koom Valley (seventeen counting a "fracas" in Vilinus Pass), only three of which took place in the valley itself. This is in part due to the battle being a convenient patch for rips in time often used by the History Monks, although the History of Thud suggests that something about the valley itself encourages violence (this might be related to the Summoning Dark).

Koom Valley's story is eventually revealed in the novel Thud!: The intention was to sign a treaty, but some took the sudden sighting of their mortal enemies for an ambush and tried to attack. Both sides fell on their own to keep this from happening, and fought until a flash flood destroyed them. The only word to come from the valley was exactly the wrong one.

This led to the continuation of the enmity until the efforts of Commander Vimes of the Ankh Morpork City Watch revealed the truth thousands of years later, in the process uncovering the last resting place of B'hrian Bloodaxe, the first Low King. He was playing an early form of Thud with Diamond, king of Trolls.

The name "Koom" is a reference to the Welsh word cwm, which is pronounced "koom" and means "valley". Thus "Koom Valley" means "Valley Valley." Pratchett has an admitted fondness for tautalogical place-names, such as "Cheetwood", which literally means "Woodwood," and Torpenhow Hill, which means "Hillhillhill Hill."

Cable Street Particulars

According to The Discworld Companion, they started out as an intelligence-gathering organisation, connected to the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. When Lord Winder was Patrician of Ankh-Morpork they became a secret police organisation, noted for torture and holding without charge. This was destroyed during the events of Night Watch.

Recently Commander Sir Samuel Vimes has given the name to the plain clothes division of the restructured Watch, presumably as a dark reminder of why it shouldn't be given too much power.

The name 'Cable Street Particulars' seems to have been inspired by the Baker Street Irregulars from the stories of Sherlock Holmes.

They are also known as The Unmentionables (a colloquial British term for underwear), possibly a parody of The Invincibles an Irish extremist nationalist group, or of The Untouchables a prohibition-era law-enforcement group. Also note "the Particulars" as a euphemism for the male genitals - e.g. "he got kicked in the particulars!". This might be implying that the Particulars, as a group, are merely a load of bollocks.

Deja fu

An almost unknown form of martial art, Deja fu is best described as "the feeling that you have been kicked in the head this way before."

In Deja fu, the practitioner travels in time as well as space. He can go back in time and hit his opponent with a series of punches. From the opponent's point of view, the practitioner is standing motionless in front of him, but he feels the effects from the past attacks. Also, the practitioner can put parts of his opponent's body out of time with respect to the rest of the opponent, making attacks ineffective, preventing the opponent from moving or causing the opponent to trip.

Currently, the only practitioner of Deja fu is Lu-Tze, a sweeper at the Monastery of Oi-Dong.

It bears a strong resemblance to the temporal fugue technique from Roger Zelazny's novel Creatures of Light and Darkness.

Other forms of martial arts on the Disc (and Lu-Tze's opinions on them) include:

Okidoki ('Just a bunch of bunny hops')
Shiitake ('If I wanted to thrust my hand into hot sand, I'd go to the seaside')
Upsidazi ('A waste of good bricks')
No Kando ('You made that one up')
Tung-pi ('Bad-tempered flower arranging').

It is not immediately clear who on the Discworld practices these arts, though they are mentioned in reference to the monks of time, who are known to practice martial arts in general.

Devices

Devices have so far only appeared in Thud!. Spelt with a capital D, and with enough reverence that it can be heard in speech, 'Device' is the collective term for a variety of artifacts of unknown origin, but with many purposes, all of them of great power and value, such that they are "worth mining through a mountain of granite for".

Devices are apparently indestructible, but apparently it is possible to cause them to deactivate permanently. The types described are Cubes and Axles, though an 'Average bar' is mentioned in passing. Most cubes so far discovered are owned by dwarves, but all were created long before dwarf civilisation.

Cubes

Cubes are just that in appearance, six inches across, like ancient bronze, and glow green and blue when active. Cubes store approximately 10 years of constant sound, and when first activated by dwarves are filled with natural sounds (such as running water and birdsong).

Cubes are activated and deactivated by set sensual stimuli, which is most commonly a spoken word, but can be "a breath, a sound, a temperature, a point in the world, the smell of rain." Many cubes have never been prompted to work.

It was a Cube, perpetually replaying sounds from the Battle of Koom Valley, that drove the painter Methodia Rascal insane during the painting of his life's work: The Battle of Koom Valley.

The Cubes mentioned thus far bear a striking resemblance to the Thing in The Bromeliad (A trilogy, also by Terry Pratchett, which includes the books Truckers, Diggers and Wings), although the Thing possessed its own intelligence rather than being a recording device.

Axles

Axles are two six-inch-edge cubes joined perfectly on one face. They are presumably in activation and physical nature otherwise similar to Cubes, but this is not explained. When activated, Axles become a perpetual motion machine: One side rotates relative to the other, very slowly, at a 6.9 second revolution, but have apparently infinite torque. This, combined with their complete autonomy without fuel and the use of a series of gear speed/torque gears allows them to power the mechanics and industries of entire dwarven cities, including tow-powered traffic.

The Patrician Lord Vetinari was gifted an Axle by the dwarven Low King under Überwald Rhys Rhysson for Ankh-Morpork's part in the resolution of the Koom Valley dispute. Its uses in the city are still being researched by the Artificers' Guildmaster Mr. Pony, but in theory it could revolutionize the heavy industrial and municipal workings of Ankh-Morpork. According to Captain Carrot, only three other Axles are known to exist.

Average Bar

Average Bars are mentioned, but not described in Thud! Currently nothing is known but one can assume they are indestructible and rare like all other Devices. In passing it is mentioned that they "invaluable for food preparation". The fate of the Average Bar in Thud! is unknown but since the Axle from the same mine is now owned by Ankh-Morpork its reasonable to assume the same of the Average Bar.

Figgin

A small short-crust pasty containing raisins, according to the Dictionary of Eye-Watering Words. (Guards! Guards!) Noted for its role in the end of Mad Lord Snapcase (Havelock Vetinari's predecessor as Patrician of Ankh-Morpork)) who was hung up by his figgin following a revolt. (Interesting Times). It is possible the meaning has changed over the years, but then, there may really be a horrifying aspect to being hung next to a piece of pastry

Hogswatchnight

The 32nd of December, last day of the Discworld year. Traditionally associated with pig-killing, to ensure there is enough food for the rest of the winter. Many Hogswatch traditions are parodies of those associated with Christmas, including a decorated oak tree in a pot, strings of paper sausages, and, of course, a visit by the Hogfather. By tradition, witches do not leave the house on Hogswatchnight. No-one knows why, but that's not the point. This is true of a lot of Hogswatch traditions.

The name is a pun on "hogwash", Hogmanay and Watch Night.

In the Omnian religion, Hogswatchnight is called the Fast of St Ossory. Omnians "celebrate" with fasting, prayer meetings, and the exchange of religious pamphlets.

Imp Technology

A number of Discworld labour-saving devices exist which function by trapping small imps. The most notable is the iconograph, but others include watches (The Colour of Magic, Reaper Man, Thief of Time), food processors (Nanny Ogg's Cookbook), razors (Thud!) and personal organisers (Feet of Clay, Jingo, The Truth, Thud!).

The imps in these devices seem not to mind their jobs, although they get sarcastic if overworked or asked to do things outside their purview.

Dis-Organisers

There are several different "generations" of Dis-Organiser, which were probably based on the imp-powered watches; the watches themselves fell out of fashion once people decided clockwork was more reliable. All of them have a relentless enthusiasm that distinguishes them from "single function" imps; they want to show off all their abilities, all the time.

The basic Mark I is an imp, in a box, that (theoretically) remembers your diary and memos. It can also recognise handwriting (but can't understand it) and tell you what the time is in Klatch. It can use precognition to find out what your appointments are before you do, but this may lead to it following a different timeline, which can be disturbing (...beep... Things To Do Today Today Today: Die...).

The Mark II is similar, but also has the ability to change colour, knows several different alarm calls, and can memorise an entire conversation (running its memory backwards to recall it).

The Mark V (also known as "The Gooseberry" [a play on the BlackBerry]) can deliver messages (Bluenose™ - c.f. Bluetooth), play games, and whistle songs (iHUM™ - c.f. iTunes). It can also, unlike the Mark I, read, and its most useful function is an ability to sort through large amounts of paperwork quickly.

The name Dis-Organiser is both an obvious pun, and a play on "Dis", the name given to the city in the center of Hell in Dante's Divine Comedy.

In The Art of Discworld the Mark I and Mark II are drawn to resemble the Series 1 and Series 3 Psion organisers.

The Jerk Syndrome

Described in Thud!. This is a condition that may be experienced by a woman who is so beautiful, so alluring, that, as Angua describes it it, any man with half a brain isn't even going to think about asking her out, because it's obvious she's too grand for the likes of him. This leads her to believe that the problem is at her end, and that there must be something wrong with her. This persists until she meets a man who, for the purposes of this discussion, does not have half a brain (i.e. is too stupid to realize she'll likely reject him, or is so used to rejection that it doesn't bother him, or has some other flaw that stems from an even more major flaw), and he does in fact ask her out, and she is so grateful that she says yes; it is implied that problems ensue because she is, as it were, going to a fancy, lavish restaurant and only ordering a bread roll and maybe a small salad. The concept is used in reference to Tawneee, who is the quintessential example of this with Nobby, although the strange part is that she actually likes him.

Klatchian Coffee

A strong, nearly magical coffee, brewed in Klatch and drunk only by the initiated in very small cups. Not only does it sober you up, it sends you to the other side of sobriety. This state is referred to as knurd ("drunk" backwards), which dispels the soft pink cushions of sobriety and lets you see the world for what it is. In Klatch it is drunk with Orakh (a very violent alcoholic bevarage made by mixing scorpion venom and cactus sap and leaving it to ferment in the sun for several weeks) to counteract its effects. After a few screams, a lie down and a stiff drink, the occasional drinker will try never to be knurd again.

Klatchian coffee is (presumably) intended as an exaggerated version of Turkish coffee.

Klatch's Coffee was a name of a store in King of the Hill. (To be fair, the reference is more likely to the term "Coffee Klatsch" than the Discworld books.)

Knurd

Knurdness is the opposite of being drunk; not sober, but as far from sober as drunkenness, except in the opposite direction. It strips away all the illusion, all the comforting pink fog in which people normally spend their lives, and lets them see and think clearly for the first time ever. This, needless to say, is a very traumatic experience and sometimes leads to important discoveries. Those seeking to treat drunkenness by having the sufferer drink Klatchian coffee should take care, lest they send him too far the other way - through sobriety and out the other side.

Also, Samuel Vimes, one of the Discworld's most notable characters, is sometimes referred to as being constantly knurd and two drinks short of actual sobriety, which at least partially accounts for his depressive nature and tendency towards alcoholism—he started out looking for a cure to knurdness.

Latatian

A variation of Dog Latin. Based on the name, it presumably originates from the Sto Plains town of Sto Lat, although it is often referred to as the "Old Language of Ankh-Morpork".

Pratchett describes it as "very bad doggy Latin." It is most often seen in the mottoes of the noble families, civic organisations and Guilds of Ankh-Morpork.

The classic example is the motto of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch; "Fabricati Diem, Pvnc". This is complete nonsense in Latin, but looks like it means "Make my Day, Punk" (see Dirty Harry), although Sergeant Colon insists it means "To Protect and Serve".

Latatian is also sometimes used by wizards when casting spells. It is also used by wizards and (as in the real world) doctors and lawyers to prevent laymen from knowing what they're saying, as in Albert's response to mysterious writing, "Sodomy non sapiens" ("I'm buggered if I know"), Rincewind's Stercus stercus stercus Moriturus Sum (Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I'm going to die) and the Morporkian legal principle "Acquiris Quodcumque Rapis" ("You Get What You Grab").

Necrotelecomnicon

A book (which also features in Good Omens by Pratchett and Neil Gaiman). Its name is a portmanteau of "Necronomicon" and "telecom".

Since the "Necronomicon" is sometimes referred to as "The Book of Dead Names" or "The Book of The Dead", "Necrotelecomnicon" could be translated as "The Book of Dead Telephone Numbers" or simply "Phonebook of the Dead". The book is also known as the Liber Paginarum Fulvarum, Latin for "The Book of Yellow Pages".

Written by Achmed the Mad (who apparently preferred to be called Achmed the I Just Get These Headaches) after drinking Klatchian Coffee, this book lists all the old, dark gods of the Discworld (i.e. the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions). The First Edition, kept in the basement of the Library of Unseen University, has been known to eat readers. It is said that any man who reads more than a few pages will die insane, which works out fine for the Librarian, who is, in fact, an orangutan.

Neuralger

A neuralger is a female demon which comes to men in their dreams and has a headache. They are usually summoned by mistake, by demonologists who were expecting a succubus. The Neuralger is mentioned in Eric, although a similar concept appears in Pratchett's (non-Discworld) drabble Incubust.

Octarine

The colour of magic, also often called the eighth colour. Octarine is strongly indicative of magic and can only be seen by wizards, who sometimes describe it as resembling a fluorescent greenish-yellow purple (note that in conventional human colour vision, green is not discernible as green when added to purple, but serves only to desaturate the purple). The colour appears as black or invisible to ordinary people.

The normal human visual system works by the presence of cones and rods in the eye. The ability of wizards to see octarine is explained by the additional presence of octagons.

A common conception of the colour is the colour of an incandescent filament when viewed through blacklight film, a fluorescent white or ultrablue.

Quantum

Both quantum mechanics and the uncertainty principle have appeared in the Discworld in some form or another; however, neither concept even remotely resembles their counterparts from Earth.

The Uncertainty Principle seems to be simply a "scientific" or "professional" way of saying "I don't know"; Death uses it in The Fifth Elephant as an excuse to appear when people are possibly going to die, apparently in addition to their actual deaths, even though he himself isn't clear what it is. All attempts to explain it outright, such as in The Last Hero, appear to be misunderstood versions of Schrödinger's cat. A slightly more accurate version has been used to explain the peculiar habits of the puzuma, and the unreliability of teleportation magic without assistance from Hex. A related concept is the Theory of Thaumic Imponderability, which says it is impossible to tell exactly what a given spell will do, until it's too late.

Quantum, on the other hand, isn't explained at all; in fact, it serves much the same function as "magic" does on Earth, as described in The Discworld Companion, "a sort of get-out-of-half-understood-explanation-free card" (see "A wizard did it") — essentially, an explanation that does not, in fact, explain anything. It should be noted that just "magic" by itself would not be appropriate as such a non-explanation on the Discworld, since magic is a more or less fully-understood phenomenon. Another explanation of Quantum is given in Pyramids as "add another nought" (in regards to accounting).

It is implied in the books that Ponder Stibbons may have a better understanding of both concepts, but has given up trying to explain them to anyone.

Re-annual plant

In addition to the more common annual plants, biennial plants and perennial plants, Discworld harbors a small number of re-annual plants. These are plants which, due to a rare 4-dimensional twist in their genetic structure, flower and grow before their seed germinates. This is usually only possible in areas with considerable amounts of background magic. Farmers who grow re-annual plants are usually very careful about dates of sowing, lest they cause devastating temporal paradoxes (such as dying of starvation because the food one lived off months ago was never grown). The Discworld Almanak also mentions how a garden implement carelessly strewn among reannuals months later can cause serious damage today, indicating that they can move items they are in contact with through time, as well.

When re-annual plant products undergo fermentation, the product is time-reversed alcohol, a rare substance much sought by fortune-tellers and the like, as ingesting it allows some ability to foretell the future, which from the point of view of the plant is the past. Time-reversed alcohol produces inebriation in the normal way, but the hangover is thrust backwards in time to several hours before the actual ingestion of the alcohol. This is known as a hangunder, and is usually very strong since one feels so dreadful one imbibes large amounts of alcohol to get over it.

The only revealed re-annual plant is the vul nut vine, which is remarkable in that it can begin to flower as much as eight years before being sown.

Retrophrenology

A small industry springing up on the area around Ankh-Morpork based on the concepts of phrenology and physiognomy. However, retrophrenologists, rather than measuring a persons head and predicting their personality traits, seek to give customers whatever traits they desire to have by moulding their heads directly. What actually happens is that the customer is hit with a selection of different sized mallets. The efficacy of such treatments is unknown, but at least it keeps the money in circulation.

Roundworld

Roundworld is the Discworld term for both planet Earth and the "real" universe itself. From a Discworld point of view it exists in a glass sphere at Unseen University, where it is taken care of by Rincewind. It was created by Hex to use up a huge excess of magic, created after the wizards split the thaum. The key point of Roundworld, however, is that it doesn't contain any magic. The wizards are fascinated, however, by the fact it does seem to have rules of its own.

Roundworld is the focus of all three Science of Discworld novels.

Scumble

An alcoholic beverage drunk in very small cups some months apart (or served to strangers in pint mugs, as a sort of initiation test).

It was first introduced in Mort which tells us:

"A lot of stories are told about scumble, and how it is made out on the damp marshes, according to ancient recipes passed down rather unsteadily from father to son. It's not true about the rats, or the snakes' heads, or the lead shot. The one about the dead sheep is a complete fabrication. We can lay to rest all the variants of the one about the trouser button. But the one about not letting it come into contact with metal is absolutely true..."

It is a parody of scrumpy and is made with apples. Well, mainly apples. Good scumble apples include the Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable and the Green Billet. In Mort it was drunk on the Sto Plains, but in later books it is associated with Lancre, where it is distilled by Nanny Ogg (whose particular variant is known as "Suicider").

When scumble is mixed with dwarven beer, it creates a highly intoxicating cocktail known as "Fluff".

Wahoonie

A fruit that grows in Howondaland. It is highly prized by some; the colour (earwax) and smell (like a sick anteater) make most people feel ill. It is also covered in spikes.

Its name may be based on the poisonous wahoo fruit, although the description is similar to the durian.

Ankh-Morpork is known as the Big Wahoonie, although the fruit does not smell that bad.

Wandering Shops

Also known as Tabernae Vagrantes. These are the mysterious shops from which people buy magical items, only to return when there turns out to be a problem (as there always does), and find the shop is vanished (as seen in H.G. Wells' "The Magic Shop", and various other fantasy stories).

One of these shops appears in The Light Fantastic, under the name "Wang, Yrxle!yt, Bunglestiff, Cwmlad and Patel. Estblshd Various. PURVEYORS". The proprieter explains that he operates under a curse, having failed to supply an item requested by a sourcerer, and being irritating about it. Twoflower apparently gained the Luggage from a similar shop.

Another, specialising in enchanted musical instruments, was encountered by some members of the Band With Rocks In during the events described in Soul Music, while they were trying to replace a ruined musical instrument. They were there able to buy the guitar which brought the Band fame (or which caused all the trouble, depending on your point of view). When two members of the Band came back to try to get more information about the guitar they were wholly unsuccessful, but after leaving, the presence of a faded '1' on the guitar caused one Band member to wonder who could have pawned the guitar:

"... but, I mean, number one. Even the conch shell was number fifty-two. Who used to own the guitar?"

to which his companion responds:

"Don't know, but I hope they never come back for it."

An equally interesting conundrum is - who did they pawn it to?

Wow-Wow sauce

A parody of the real world sauce of the same name. The Discworld version was invented by an uncle of Mustrum Ridcully, and its ingredients include grated wahoonie, asafoetida, scumble, sulphur and saltpetre. It is a highly unstable substance and believed to be responsible (when combined with a charcoal biscuit) for the elder Ridcully's explosive death. (See Black powder for why the combination might be problematic.) A presumably different uncle of Ridcully's used to swear by (or rather, swear at) Wow-Wow Sauce as a hangover cure; according to Ridcully, "He seemed very peaceful when we came to lay him out".

The Discworld
Characters:	Albert - Angua - Carrot Ironfoundersson - Cohen the Barbarian - Fred Colon - Death - Detritus - Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler - Gaspode - Greebo - Igor - Bloody Stupid Johnson - Leonard of Quirm - The Librarian - Lu-Tze - The Luggage - Mort - C.W.St J. Nobbs - Susan Sto Helit - Rincewind - Twoflower - Havelock Vetinari - Samuel Vimes - The Witches - Ysabell - Discworld gods - more...
Locations:	Ankh-Morpork - Agatean Empire - Borogravia - Death's Domain - Dungeon Dimensions - Ephebe - Genua - Klatch - Lancre - Muntab - Quirm - Sto Lat - Überwald - Unseen University - XXXX - more...
Other:	Calendar - City Watch - Clacks - Guilds - Magic - Post Office - Stealth Chess - Minor Discworld concepts