NGC Magazine
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NGC Magazine (originally known as N64 Magazine until Issue 60, 2001) was a British magazine specialising in Nintendo created consoles; which was first printed in 1997 and ran until 2006. N64 Magazine was the successor to Super Play magazine after it ended in 1996 as it retained many of the staff and the style of that publication. In 2006 the magazine finally closed and has been succeeded once again by NGamer Magazine.
It was at the time of its closure, one of the longest-running gaming magazines in the UK is considered by many to be of high quality. Its often first and trusted news (including the 'denied by official source' rumors such as the existence of and the implication of the Wii controller and the delay to - both later being proved true) honest and mainly accurate reviews and a reputation for excellent humour set it apart from other similar publications. It has a very large fanbase in the UK and Europe.
Contents
The Staff
The staff of NGC Magazine over the years has varied. These staffers include: Jonathan Davies, James Ashton, Jes Bickham (editor later for a while - and bald), wild Irishman Dan Geary, "Owen Lookalike" Tim Weaver, Wil 'FuSoYa' Overton, the scary Mark Green (later known as 'Madame Greener'), the equally scary Martin 'Kittsy' Kitts, Andrea Ball, old-timer Zy Nicholson, Geraint Evans from lovely Swansea, Depeche Mode fanatic Justin Webb, blue-haired wonder Miriam McDonald, and surfer-dude Paul Edwards. These vivid descriptions cannot be considered libel - as they are written out of respect, trust and honesty. Spread the love... The magazine took usual light-hearted digs at each of its own staff; Jes was regularly lampooned due to his bald head (regularly referred to as "the squeaky-headed funster") and physical similarity to René Dif from the Danish pop band Aqua; Mark Green had an evil alter-ego named Dark Mark; one-time editor Andrea Ball was apparently permanently covered in grease and fake tan, and also had a reputation for carrying a Big Stick™; another former editor, Tim Weaver, was famed for his patented Emotionless Stare; and longtime editor James Ashton was ridiculed mercilessly in the magazine's pages for continually failing to pass his driving test.Editors
Jonathan Davies: Issues 1-12James Ashton: Issues 13-27
Tim Weaver: Issues 28-41
Andrea Ball: Issues 42-56
Mark Green: Issues 57-59
Tim Weaver: Issues 60-72
Jes Bickham: Issues 73-84
Marcus Hawkins: Issues 85-103
Tom East: Issues 104-116
Martin Kitts: Issues 117-120
Thematic humour
The many popular, satirical, running gags revolve around:
- Nintendo executive and design staff - Shigeru Miyamoto/'Shigsy', (the magazine makes continual reference to Shigeru's banjo-playing) Hiroshi Yamauchi (NCL's apparently terrifying former President), Satoru Iwata, David Gosen (former CEO of Nintendo of Europe - the magazine claimed he was a homicidal robot named "Go-Sen"), and Reginald Fils-Aime/'Reggie'.
- Having the readers send in weird things to win stuff: Luigi papier-mache statues, photos of people dressed up as game characters, and pieces of alternative wisdom known as 'Sense Talks'. One famous competition asked readers to send in "tat" of their own in exchange for over £1000's worth of tat from the N64 offices. Among the N64 tat was a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Turok, star of several N64 games, along with two wigs that apparently belonged to Jes Bickham: the caption read "Make no mistake: when you see Jes striding down the street in his size threes wearing these hairpieces, you know he means business".
- Random nonsense on popular love/hate-relationship characters: Toad, Luigi, Sonic, Tingle, Diddy Kong, Krystal, Lex Luthor, Yoshi, Kirby, Jango Fett, and Jar-Jar Binks.
- 'Bonus Letters' (nonsensical sentences picked out of letters which are not entirely printed). This could also include the titles at the top of fully-printed letters, which took certain amusing words from the body of the letter and printed them in large, bold text to draw the reader's attention: "Bald chum" was one such famous title.
- Made-up and ridiculous words such as "blork", "grackler", "interweb", and "wah!". "Grackler" is particularly infamous; in response to a competition in issue 16 ("send us something you think will scare us witless"), a ghost story was received, part of which read "one nit when i was sleppin a grackler cam" (verbatim). The entire sentence (and later, the word "grackler" alone) became part of N64 tradition, and it was eventually decided that the term should be used as a noun when referring to an exceptionally ugly person. For example, when the football game FIFA '99 was reviewed, a picture reference was made to the extremely horrible texture-mapping on the players' faces, with the caption "Grackle Vision, Gr-Grackle Vision, Grackle-Grackle Vision," in reference to the popular UK children's TV show "Chucklevision".
Wil \"FuSoYa™\" Overton
Wil Overton was the magazine's chief artist (until issue 42) and was held in a somewhat reverential light by the magazine's readers; this could possibly have been brought about because some of the magazine's readers had followed Wil from the Good Ship Super Play and felt a sense of loyalty to him, but the N64 staff themselves would more than likely say it was because Wil ensnared them all in the tangled mass of electrical wiring masquerading as hair that he keeps atop his head. Wil came in for much more than his fair share of insults and jokes, but he was a vital part of the reason that N64 Magazine stood out so much on the shelves: his Manga-styled cover art was different to anything on other magazines, and his years of experience, love for RPGs and generally somewhat eccentric nature were comforting for many hardcore gamers.As a measure of this eccentricity, he was also known by the pseudonym "FuSoYa™". FuSoYa was a wizard character from the game Final Fantasy IV, and Wil, devotee of Final Fantasy that he is, added a ™ symbol to the character's name, and a legend was born: FuSoYa™, Wil's "beardy, RPG-loving alter-ego", as N64 Magazine described him. FuSoYa™ appeared sporadically, sometimes to promote a competition, other times in response to queries in the magazine's letters section; his monstrous visage (actually Wil in a cheap wizard outfit and very unconvincing fake beard) was a comforting sight to many.
Wil Overton eventually moved to Rare, where he works as an artist.
Top scored games
These are the top games that the magazine has rated, to present day where the 100-point system was used.
| Score: | Games: | |
| 98% | (N64) - Issue 24 | |
| 97% | Resident Evil 4 (GameCube) - Issue 104 (GameCube) - Issue 81 Metroid Prime (GameCube) - Issue 79 | |
| 96% | Super Mario 64 (N64) - Issue 1 Perfect Dark (N64) - Issue 42 Super Mario Sunshine (GameCube) - Issue 71 (N64) - Issue 49 Advance Wars (GBA) | |
| 95% | Super Smash Bros. Melee (GameCube) - Issue 66 (re-rated to 91% in Issue 80) (N64) - Issue 21 (GBA) (DS) - Issue 110 | |
| 94% | GoldenEye 007 (N64) - Issue 7 (GameCube) - Issue 101 (GBA) Golden Sun (GBA) Mario Kart DS (DS) - Issue 114 (original score: 5/5) | |
| 93% | Mario Kart Double Dash | (GameCube) - Issue 88 Donkey Kong 64 (N64) - Issue 36 F1 World Grand Prix (N64) - Issue 20 Shadow Man (N64) - Issue 20 Sonic Advance (GBA) Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 (GBA) |
|---|
For two stints, first from 1999 to 2001 and all issues dated 2005 the Magazine ran a 5 out of 5 scoring system for portable games. This list is all games which scored the perfect five, and thus do not fit in well with the above list.
| Score: | Games: |
| 5/5 | Mario Kart DS (DS) - Issue 114 Sonic Rush (DS) - Issue 114 (DS) - Issue 113 Gunstar Future Heroes (GBA) - Issue 113 Nintendogs (DS) - Issue 112 Ouendan (DS) - Issue 112 (DS) - Issue 110 Meteos (DS) - Issue 108 Wario Ware Twisted! (GBA) - Issue 107 Wario Ware Touched! (DS) - Issue 105 Mario Tennis (GBC) - Issue 51 Pokemon Gold and Silver (GBC) - Issue 51 Kirby Tilt and Tumble (GBC) - Issue 50 Pokemon Trading Card (GBC) - Issue 50 Cannon Fodder (GBC) - Issue 49 Donkey Kong Country (GBC) - Issue 49 Warlocked (GBC) - Issue 48 Legend of the River King 2 - Issue 47 Harvest Moon 2 (GBC) - Issue 47 Pokemon Pinball (GBC) - Issue 47 O'Leary Football Manager 2000 (GBC) - Issue 46 Perfect Dark (GBC) - Issue 45 Pokemon Yellow (GB) - Issue 43 Driver (GBC) - Issue 42 (GB) - Issue 41 (Retro Review) (GBC) - Issue 41 BC Kid 2 (GB) - Issue 40 (Retro Review) Kirby's Dream Land (GB) - Issue 39 (Retro Review) Balloon Kid (GB) - Issue 39 (Retro Review) Dragon Warrior Monsters (GBC) - Issue 38 Mario Golf (GBC) - Issue 36 Stranded Kids (GBC) - Issue 35 Pokemon Red and Blue (GB) - Issue 33 R-Type DX (GBC) - Issue 32 Legend of the River King (GBC) - Issue 32 Conker's Pocket Tales (GBC) - Issue 31 Super Mario Bros. DX (GBC) - Issue 30 Wario Land 2 (GBC) - Issue 27 Harvest Moon (GBC) - Issue 27 Tetris DX (GBC) - Issue 26 (GBC) - Issue 26 |
Controversial Reviews
The magazine has handed out some controversial scores in recent years, mainly with some fan backlash found in the letters pages, a couple of examples are:
- Star Fox Adventures: 72% (Some thought to be a response to Rare's sale to Microsoft, although this being the reason for the score was denied. NGC humorously gave a 'cut out' 98% sticker later on for people to paste over, as a response to it)
- : 38% (Some readers wrote in accusing this of being because of the magazine's 'hatred' of Sonic - also seen in and Sonic Heroes reviews (but Sonic Rush, Sonic Riders and Sonic Advance 3 got better grades, 5/5, 75% and 81% respectively)
- Kirby Air Ride 51% (Had a couple of minor complaints, but the game was received similarly elsewhere - also people thought it was due to the Magazine's 'hatred' of Kirby.)
The Famed \"Bad Reviews\"
The magazine's reviews of games found to be (to put it lightly) of a lower standard than usual were adored by readers due to the use of comically savage language to more accurately convey the staff's disgust with a particular game - in descending order:
- Clayfighter 63 1/3 (N64) 24% - Was described as being "as painful as... having red hot needles shoved into your eyes"; the Top Tip section revealed that "Breaking the cart open reveals several chips of varying thickness. Stack them together to prop up wobbly chairs, etc."
- Cruis'n USA (N64): 24% was described, simply, as "dump".
- (N64): 22% - Declared an "utterly rancid arcade yawn-fest".
- Trump World (N64): 21% - To give it the full title, "Alice's Waku-Waku Trump World", an unfathomable Alice In Wonderland-themed card game, was deemed "nose-achingly pungent" and "a real Lenny Bennett of a game".
- Wheel Of Fortune (N64): 17% - Another US quiz show port, this was found to be "worse than accidentally falling off a cliff. And surviving".
- (N64): 16% - A "miserable excuse for a fighting game".
- (GameCube): 15% - Jes described as "Like having the skin flayed from your fingertips". Later when Batman Begins was mentioned on the cover the magazine asked the rhetorical question: "Can it beat Batman: Dark Tomorrow? Well, it wouldn't be hard..."
- Superman 64 (N64): 14% - was initially viewed as 'an utterly hopeless, consistently appalling leper of a 'game'...bordering on the illegal'. Superman 64 became the butt of all jokes after it was reviewed, and described in Issue 100's hall of shame as 'A game of legendary-so-bad-it's-almost-goodness'. Features the legendary level where Lex Luthor asks Superman to 'solve my maze' which later was a small competition segment in the magazine, the last of which was named "Solve my murder" and had three ways in which Luthor was killed.
- Aero Gauge (N64): 10% - Was ridiculed severely, and a "Top Tip" provided with a quick-reference review in the magazine's "index" section read "If you handed over good money for Aero Gauge, 01*** ****** (number censored for privacy) is the number to ring to complain".
- (GameCube): 10% - Was referred to as being "scat-encrusted" and Kittsy said: "It's rubbish. Really rubbish. Honest, it's crap".
- Jeopardy! (N64): 9% A US Import only, was described as "less a game, more a vile disease". Apparently "so ugly that, if you look at it, you'll turn to stone".
- (N64): 9% - Possibly the most despised game of NGC Magazine's history; the price was stated as "£Too much", the mini-review stated that "This could only be less enjoyable if it squirted sulphuric acid into your face," and the staff's frustration with the game's mechanics was revealed in a tip section: "Creep along in that sideways spider fashion and then GET CRUSHED BY A PILLAR. Place your fist into TV screen".
- (N64): 9% - Described by Greener as "60 of the most bitterly tedious minutes" of his life.
- Carmageddon 64 (N64): 8% - Was the lowest rated from 1999 until the end of 2004, and was described as "brain-meltingly awful" and "a shocking travesty": players were instructed to, if they saw the game in the shops, to "take it off the shelves, rip up the box and throw the cart repeatedly at the wall until it breaks";
- Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Second Edition (GBA): 5% - The Current Worst Score Ever. "You'd be better off staying as far away from this lazy slab of plastic as you can. So it's getting 5%. For 'existing'. And that is generous.
- (N64): ??% - The strangest game ever reviewed for NGC Magazine, and as such, a score was impossible to award. The decision reached was ??%, and the review read thus: "Impenetrable Japanese girlfriend simulator. No, hang on, that came out all wrong..."
- Giftpia (GameCube): ??% - Awarded the score for the fact that it was so heavy in Japanese that they didn't have a clue what was going on in the game and thus didn't feel they could award a score. It must be noted though that the review wasn't unfavourable to the game's graphics and sound, giving them marks of 8 (out of 10) and 7 respectively, and even making the comment that "There's clearly a quite brilliant game lurking beneath the realms of the Japanese text".
At this point in time, only one other game was ever given a ? for a rating, and that was Dropship on the PS2 when it was reviewed for Toonami.
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