Patty and Selma

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The Bouvier Sisters (Patricia "Patty" and Selma, voiced by Julie Kavner) are fictional characters on The Simpsons. They are Marge's two cynical chain-smoking older twin sisters. They both work at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and have a strong dislike for Homer. Selma is the older of two as she was born two minutes before Patty. Creator Matt Groening has said that he named the Simpsons after his own parents and two younger sisters, so it is interesting to note that he has an older sister named Patty who is an art dealer. Groening also stated that he told Julie Kavner to voice Patty and Selma as characters "that suck the joy out of everything." [link]

Contents

1 Recognition
2 Personalities
3 Relationships

3.1 The Bouviers and the Simpsons
3.2 Romantic Liaisons
3.3 Ling Bouvier

4 Quotes
5 See also

Recognition

It is not easy to distinguish the twins from each other. According to Marge, Selma is "the one who likes Police Academy movies and Hummel figurines, and walking through the park on clear autumn days." The following physical descriptions may help.

Patty's hair is undivided while Selma's hair is divided.
Patty wears a short-sleeved pink dress while Selma wears a sleeveless blue dress.
Patty wears orange triangular earrings while Selma wears purple circular earrings.
Patty wears orange circular necklace pearls while Selma wears purple oval necklace pearls.
Patty wears pink shoes while Selma wears blue shoes.
Patty is attracted to women, while Selma is attracted to men.
In the early years of the series, Selma also wore "S" shaped earrings.

Personalities

Selma reportedly lacks the senses of taste and smell due to a childhood bottle rocket accident. Both twin sisters tend to be cynical and are noted for their addiction to tobacco smoking and their strong dislike for their brother-in-law.

In fact, there were several times where they didn't seem to care whether Homer survived a life-threatening illness. For instance, in "Homer's Triple Bypass," where Marge rushes to the hospital after receiving a telephone call that Homer had suffered a heart attack at work. Patty and Selma — instead of going to the hospital and comforting Marge in her time of need — remain seated at the kitchen table, continuing their activity of cutting coupons, gasping in amazement at the discounts and behaving as though nothing was wrong.

Selma's favorite brand of cigarettes is identified as "Laramie Hi-Tars" while Patty's favorite brand of cigarettes is identified as "Lady Laramie 100s". They share an apartment and work together at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). On numerous occasions the Bouvier sisters have acted unprofessionally in the course of their jobs. For example, they allowed Otto to get a driver's license during Otto's brief tenancy with the Simpson family due to their mutual dislike for Homer. Like her twin sister Patty, Selma is an avid (and sometimes maniacal) fan of the 1980s TV series MacGyver, and they both seem to think MacGyver is a real man, and not a character played by Richard Dean Anderson. Regardless of their orientation, they also seem to be erotically aroused by the show and the character, euphemistically needing a cigarette after each viewing of the show. Her favorite film actor was reportedly Troy McClure, to whom she was briefly married. In a controversial 2005 episode, Patty came out of the closet as a lesbian, although clues to her sexual preference have been given out numerous times throughout the series.

Relationships

Patty and Selma are very close, working together and sharing an apartment.

Selma cares for her deceased aunt's iguana Jub-Jub (a name invented by Conan O'Brien according to a Simpsons DVD commentary and by Conan himself on his show), although this is (oddly enough) exactly the name given by author Lewis Carroll to a fictional creature of his own devising, the Jub-Jub Bird from the famous poem Jabberwocky. It is arguable whether or not the creator of The Simpsons would be familiar with Alice in Wonderland and other works of Lewis Carroll.

Most recently, Selma adopted a Chinese baby, Ling, after signs of menopause. During the process, however, Selma had to pretend to be married to Homer, since the Chinese government only allowed their children to be adopted to successful couples. When the jig was up, Selma kept the baby anyway, as the Chinese dignitary had a single mother also.

The Bouviers and the Simpsons

As children, Patty and Selma were reportedly rather domineering towards Marge and ridiculed her ambition of becoming an astronaut. However, their relationship seems to have improved over the years. As adults, the Bouvier twins appear to have a friendly relationship with their sister and frequently visit the Simpsons. They seem relatively fond of their nieces and nephew. They have, on occasion, watched the kids when their parents were out of town. However, Bart and Lisa would rather not be around when their aunts ask for a foot massage. Their idea of bonding with Lisa includes tutoring her in the belief that men are pigs, using Homer as the prime example.

Their relationship with Homer remains one of mutual dislike (although Selma seems to dislike Homer slightly less). They have continued to exchange insults since the day Marge first introduced them to each other. They tend to compare their brother-in-law to a caveman. They have even suggested him capable of trading Maggie for beer and a nudie magazine. Selma and Patty have occasionally expressed their common hope that Marge will eventually divorce Homer. They are usually quick in discovering and pointing out his attempts at insincerity and/or infidelity. They have offered Marge their help in finding a replacement for Homer. The couple, however, is still together after a decade of marriage.

Selma once took the Simpson children on a disastrous trip to the Duff Gardens theme park, where Bart manhandled several animatronic characters and Lisa went on a psychedelic trip after drinking "water" from a boat ride (she shows up later swimming naked in the Fermentarium and exclaiming "I am the lizard queen!").

Romantic Liaisons

Despite being identical twins, Patty and Selma Bouvier have had very different track records when it comes to finding dates. According to Marge, Patty chose a life of celibacy, while Selma had celibacy thrust upon her (a sly reference to Malvolio in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night). This presumably explains her occasional attempts at romance. Her standards tend to be rather low though, as evidenced by her comments on Charles Montgomery Burns: "Single, eh? Well, he passes the Selma-test." In the February 20, 2005 episode, "There's Something About Marrying", Patty came out as a lesbian after Springfield legalized same-sex marriage. However, before their own wedding, Patty's partner Veronica was revealed to be a man who had disguised his gender to get into the LPGA tour. Patty's sexuality had earlier been hinted at when her voice was recognizably coming from an "in the closet" float on the Springfield Gay Pride Parade. Another hint from an earlier episode as to Patty's sexuality is from "Treehouse of Horror III" where Patty sees Homer naked and says "There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality." In "Saturdays of Thunder" when she is going through a list of hair style, she comments on one she didn't want by calling it "butch". Finally, a photograph of Patty exiting the infamous Springfield burlesque house (with only a small fraction of her face blacked out) was displayed during a town hall meeting. Selma does indeed indignantly exclaim, "Patty!" when the picture is shown. In the episode "Homer Simpson, This is Your Wife", which aired on March 26, 2006, Patty wooed a tenured professor of Yale University away from her husband.

However, Patty did date Principal Skinner in the season 2 episode, Principal Charming. She refused to marry him, however; though her then-hidden sexuality may have something to do with it, the excuse she gave was because she was too devoted to Selma as a sister to leave her alone (Selma, in that episode, had been looking for a man and was depressed that Patty had found one). Selma has actively sought out a husband, having been married four times. Her full name has evolved into Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure and possibly -Stu, after failed marriages to Robert "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger, Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure, and Disco Stu. However, one person Selma refused to marry was Apu, because she said her collection of last names was long enough without Nahasapeemapetilon added to it. "From now on I'm only getting married for love...and maybe once more for money."

Unable to find companionship in a husband, Selma has also sought to have children. At one point she was considering using a sperm donor, but after babysitting Bart and Lisa for a day, she realized that although she wanted something to love, she was not ready to have children and wound up adopting a pet iguana named Jub-Jub. After beginning menopause, however, she said that Jub-Jub couldn't take care of her when she was sick ("only eat me when I'm dead"), and apparently decided she was ready for children; she wound up adopting her child, Ling (see below).

Ling Bouvier

Selma holding Ling Bouvier

Ling Bouvier was adopted by Selma Bouvier in China after discovering that she had reached menopause. She won Ling after posing as Homer Simpson's wife in order to fool the Chinese authorities into thinking that Ling would be sent into a family, and not to a single mother.

She has only appeared in two episodes so far. First, she appeared in her adoption episode. Also, she had a brief appearance in "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore" when the twins open the door to discover "hostage" MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) missing. (Selma was holding Ling during the scene.)

Quotes

[A parole hearing is held for Sideshow Bob.]
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Defense lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
[Several people raise their hands]
Defense lawyer: Be honest.
[Everyone in the room raises their hands, including Patty. A man sitting next to her gasps]
Patty: [to him] Ehh, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.