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Rules of Acquisition

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"Rules of Acquisition" was also an episode of .
The Rules of Acquisition, in the fictional Star Trek universe, are a set of guidelines intended to ensure the profitability of businesses owned by the ultra-capitalist Ferengi. The first rule was made by Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance. The title of "Rules of Acquisition" was chosen as a clever marketing ploy (since the rules are merely guidelines) and Gint numbered his first rule as #162, in order to create a demand for the other 161 Rules that had not yet to be written.

There are 285 Rules of Acquisition, but not all of them have been stated in the Star Trek canon. Most of the rules were written by Ira Steven Behr, a producer of , and he has published many of them in a book The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (ISBN 0671529366), the cover of which credits authorship as being "By Quark as told to Ira Steven Behr".

Contents

List of Rules

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. ("The Nagus")**
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. ("The Maquis, Part II")**
6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity. ("The Nagus")**
7. Always keep your ears open. ("In the Hands of the Prophets")**
8. Small print leads to large risk.**
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. ("The Storyteller")**
10. Greed is eternal. ("Prophet Motive")**
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.**
16. A deal is a deal. ("Melora")**
17. A contract is a contract is a contract – but only between Ferengi. ("Body Parts")**
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. ("Heart of Stone")**
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.**
21. Never place friendship before profit. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
22. Wise men can hear profit in the wind. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
23. Nothing is more important than your health. Except for money. ("Rules of Acquisition")
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.**
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother...insult something he cares about instead. ("The Siege")**
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
34. War is good for business. ("Destiny")**
35. Peace is good for business. ("Destiny")**
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.**
41. Profit is its own reward.**
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.**
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. ("Rivals")**
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
52. Never ask when you can take.**
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum — treasure them. ("Armageddon Game")**
58. There is no substitute for success.**
59. Free advice is seldom cheap. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
60. Keep your lies consistent.**
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.**
74. Knowledge equals profit. ("Inside Man")**
75. Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum. ("Civil Defense")**
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. ("The Homecoming")**
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.**
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the the price.**
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.**
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for you profits.**
94. Females and finances don't mix. ("Ferengi Love Songs")**
95. Expand or die. ("False Profits" (Voyager))**
97. Enough...is never enough.**
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.**
98. Every man has his price. ("In the Pale Moonlight")**
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. ("The Jem'Hadar")**
103. Sleep can interfere with opportunity. ("Rules of Acquisition")**
104. Faith moves mouuntains...of inventory.**
106. There is no honor in poverty.**
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. ("Rivals")**
111. Treat people in your debt like family - exploit them. ("The Darkness and the Light")**
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister. ("Playing God")**
113. Always have sex with the boss.**
117. You can't free a fish from water.**
119. Buy, sell, or get out of the way.*
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.**
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.**
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead. ("The Siege of AR-558")
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. ("Necessary Evil")**
141. Only fools pay retail.**
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.**
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.**
168. Whisper your way to success. ("Treachery, Faith, and the Great River")
177. Know your enemies...but dom business with them always.**
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the sine of profit.**
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.**
190. Hear all, trust nothing. ("Call to Arms")**
192. Never cheat a Klingon...uless you're sure you can get away with it.**
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. ("Whispers")**
202. The justification for profit is profit.**
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms: they can be succulent but sometimes they can bite back. ("Little Green Men")
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. ("Ferengi Love Songs")
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success - don't hesitate to step on them. ("Bar Association")
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. ("The Maquis")**
218. Always know what you're buying.**
217. You can't free a fish from water. ("Past Tense, Part I")
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.**
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. ("Ferengi Love Songs")**
236. You can't buy fate.**
239. Never be afraid to mis-label a product. ("Body Parts")
242. More is good...all is better. ("")**
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.**
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.**
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum. ("Bar Association")**
266. When in doubt, lie.**
284. Deep down every's a Ferengi.**
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. ("The Collaborator", "The Sound of Her Voice")**
The Unwritten Rule: When no rule applies . . . make one up. ("False Profits" (Voyager))

*Rules which have been quoted on Deep Space Nine but have no episode reference.

**Rules which have been listed in The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition but episode reference may or may not be known.

List of Unofficial and Made up Rules

286. When Morn leaves, it's all over. (Made up by Quark in "The House of Quark" as a joke)
287. When a messenger gets in the way of profit, kill the messenger. False Profits (Voyager episode) (An application of the "Unwritten Rule")
299. Whenever you exploit someone, it doesn't hurt to thank them. (That way it's easier to exploit them the next time.) ‡
‡ This rule was made up by Neelix posing as the Grand Proxy in False Profits (Voyager episode) to "out-Ferengi the Ferengi" and isn't a part of the actual Rules of Acquisition.

Revised Rules for the Modern Ferengi

A revised list of rules was created by Grand Nagus Zek (after consulting a Bajoran orb the Bajoran Prophets made him give up greed in the DS9 episode "Prophet Motive"). These rules have never been accepted.

1. If they want their money back, give it to them.
10. Greed is dead.
21. Never place profit before friendship.
22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
23. Money can never replace dignity.
285. A good deed is its own reward.

Stages of Acquisition

In addition to the Rules, Ferengi recognize five Stages:
1. Infatuation
2. Justification
3. Appropriation
4. Obsession
5. Resale

External links

 

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