Selma's Choice
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"Selma's Choice" is the 13th episode of The Simpsons
Synopsis
After an elderly aunt named Gladys Bouvier dies, Selma, Marge and Patty attend the funeral and subsequent reading of the will. On the video will left by Gladys, she warns the sisters not to die alone without a husband and children as she did. Selma starts to worry that her biological clock may be ticking, and decides to find a way to become pregnant. Selma tries video dating and eventually considers an anonymous sperm donor.
Meanwhile, Homer promises Bart and Lisa that they will go to Duff Gardens, a popular amusement park, but Homer becomes ill after eating a spoiled sandwich. Selma volunteers to take the two. Lisa begins to hallucinate after drinking some "water" in an aquatic ride and Bart is arrested by park security. After these negative experiences caring for Bart and Lisa for a day, Selma decides she can live without children, and adopts Jub-Jub, Gladys' iguana, instead.
Trivia
- The title of the episode is a reference to the book (and the film) Sophie's Choice.
- On the April 11, 2006 episode of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, former Simpsons writer Conan O'Brien revealed, in an interview with Hank Azaria, that he came up with the name Jub-Jub for the iguana, as it was a phrase he used to break awkward silences.
Quotes
- Priest: He was a good man, he was a kind man. He gave to his community and asked little in return. He never-- (a man whispers something in his ear) That's a woman? Dear Lord! (chuckles sheepishly): Well, I guess most of what I said can be salvaged.
Patty: Take a seat, bozo. And that eulogy better not show up on the bill. I'll keep this short. Gladys lived alone, died alone. I guess you could say she was a role model for Selma and me. She wasn't a rich woman...
(the majority of the congregation leave, grumbling in disappointment over attending a poor woman's funeral)
Patty: ...but she was rich in spirit.
(a shrimpy man returns)
Shrimpy Man: Forgot my hat. - Patty: I can't believe Auntie Gladys is really gone.
Selma: Her legend will live forever.
Homer: (imagining) Yeah. The legend of the dog-faced woman. (laughs hysterically, aloud) Legend of the dog-faced woman! Oh, that's good!
Marge: Homer, that's very rude of you.
Homer: What? D'oh! - Selma: Aunt Gladys was right. There's something missing in our lives.
Patty: Don't worry. We'll get that barking dog record tomorrow. - Barney: All done!
Nurse: Thank you, sir.
Barney: Always a pleasure. What a beautiful little girl!
Baby: (Burps)
Other babies: (Burp) - Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (after a pause) Yes. - Officer: We found this one swimming naked in the fermentarium.
Lisa: I am the Lizard Queen! - Homer: That Yentl puts the "she" in yeshiva!
- Homer: But I wanna go to Duff Gardens right now!
Marge: Oh Homer, stop pouting!
Homer: I'm not pouting, I'm mourning. (muttering to himself) Stupid dead woman.
See also
External links
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