Sideshow Mel

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Sideshow Mel, full name Melvin van Horne (voiced by Dan Castellaneta), is a minor cartoon character on the TV show The Simpsons. Sideshow Mel has served as Krusty the Clown's sidekick for more than a decade, replacing Sideshow Bob after Bob was incarcerated from framing Krusty for robbery. He is often seen in the mobs of people throughout greater Springfield. His role seems to be that of summing up the group's sentiments in a line.

Mel's hiring was never explicitly shown in the series.

Little is known about Mel. He is a Cornell University graduate and an atheist. He may be named for Roy Horn, half of the famous Las Vegas lounge act Siegfried and Roy.

Sideshow Mel uses a slide whistle to communicate on camera. When not in character, Mel speaks in a grandiose British/Shakespearean accent (Castellaneta's play on Kelsey Grammer's character, Sideshow Bob) and owns poodles. His main accomplishment so far has been successfully removing Waylon Smithers from suspicion of having shot Mr. Burns.

Mel perpetually wears a bone in his hair which may or may not be permanently affixed: in "22 Short Films About Springfield" he warned Lisa Simpson not to use a bone to try and get gum out of her hair, as he did and it became permanently stuck there. However, in another episode, he removed and used it as a weapon during a duel. In "Skinner's Sense of Snow", he indicated that he could feel meteorological conditions in the bone, such as incoming storms.

Bart Simpson has found out that Mel is lactose-intolerant. Krusty once poured liquid nitrogen down Mel's pants and cracked his buttocks with a hammer.

He may be married to or living with a woman named Barbara, who may or may not be Krusty's sister (as referenced in Colonel Homer) with whom he wished to purchase a house from Marge Simpson in the episode "Realty Bites." In the episode "I'm With Cupid" he complains that Barbara will no longer pleasure him with the French Arts.

After Krusty's show was cancelled following the rise of Gabbo, Mel worked at a taco stand where he initially refused Krusty's pleas to return to his show.

He was the jury foreman for the Mona Simpson trial in My Mother the Carjacker. The jury was sequestered at a Quality Inn which "more than lived up to its name."

Quotes

"Don't try to get gum out with a bone. It only makes things worse."
"That hideous man is a hero."
"Let us end this mindless violence, and join our hands in song."
"Everyone flare your nostrils in olfactory anticipation."
"Long live the hero cat of Springfield!"
"He's gone from predator to partier."
(on Mr. Burns' commercialization of the First Church of Springfield) "He restored it from nave to narthex!"
"I've learned my lesson, Krusty. Never again will I look directly at a solar eclipse."
"Another tragedy averted by gun violence."
"I agree with the hideous crone."
"Look! It's Internet buffoon Angry Dad!"
"A storm is coming! I can feel it in my bone!"
"This place is the height of tedium."
"Our children aren't safe with that monster."
"My father was a monster, too."
"I'll see to it that Mr. Burns suffers the infernal machinations of hell's grim tyrant!"
"Please, Krusty. This is very demeaning!"
"My opinions are as valid as the next man's!"
"Apparently that disturbing odor was the food."
"Dear Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!"
"And, as a grim finale, she plans to drown that poor, caged baby!"
"My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!"
"No, Krusty. You've always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants and cracked my buttocks with a hammer. Mr. Johansen treats me with dignity."
"That robot has given birth to a man!"
"My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled."
"He's kicking it old school!"
"Come stand next to the bathroom door. I want to yell at you some more!"
"Surely you know I'm lactose-intolerant!"
"Oh, Krusty, you can be so cruel when you're sober."
"Oh, shut up. You're wasting valuable smashing time."
"Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!"
"I have a recurring dream in which I'm falling!"
(in response to seeing an HDTV) "I have never seen a picture, so highly DEFINED!"

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