The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star
Encyclopedia : T : TH : THE : The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star
"The Father, The Son, and the Holy Guest Star" is the last episode of The Simpsons
Synopsis
Springfield Elementary School is holding its Medieval festival. All the students are given roles: Lisa is queen, Martin is king, and Bart is the cooper (a role he hates). Willie, against his will, is the village idiot. Bart is mad about his role, but not as mad as Willie. For revenge, Willie unleashes a pie with hundreds of rats inside. Bart is blamed for this prank and is expelled from school. After looking through other schools, Marge decides to enroll Bart in St. Jerome's Catholic school. There, Bart's hip, rebel attitude is frowned upon.
While holding out two dictionaries, Bart meets Father Sean (voiced by Liam Neeson). He gives Bart a comic book about the saints and he is drawn into it. At home, Marge becomes concerned over Bart's interest in the Catholic Church. Homer goes to the school to yell at Sean, but does not after having pancakes and playing Bingo. After expansively confessing to all the bad things he has done, Homer learns he has to be Catholic to get clean of his sins. With Bart and Homer both considering joining the Church, Marge seeks help from Rev. Lovejoy and Ned who agree to stop them. While they are learning about First Communion, Marge, Lovejoy, and Ned take Bart.
On the road, Marge and Lovejoy try to bring Bart back to the "one true faith": The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism. Back at the house, Lisa agrees with Homer and Bart's desire to join a new faith. Even after getting laughed at for being Buddhist by Sean, she says that Marge is taking Bart to a Protestant Youth Festival. Homer and Sean then leave in immediate pursuit. At the Festival, Marge fails to bribe Bart with the banal Christian rock of Pious Riot (Quiet Riot after their conversion). However, he agrees after he plays some paintball. Homer and Sean arrive and engage in a Mexican standoff with Ned and Lovejoy. Bart, in a rare insight moment, says it is stupid that all the different forms of Christianity are feuding. The two groups agree to both fight monogamous gays and stem cells and to take Bart's idea to heart. The episode then jumps 1,000 years into the future. In this age, mankind is waging war over whether Bart's teachings were about love and tolerance, or understanding and peace (and whether he was betrayed by Milhouse).
Trivia
- This is the third episode in the series (After "The Joy of Sect" and "She of Little Faith") where a member of the Simpson family is tempted to convert to another religion and Marge, Ned, and Rev. Lovejoy try to stop them.
- During Marge's vision of "Catholic Heaven", Homer and Bart perform Irish dancing to the accompaniment of music from Riverdance.
- The way that Quiet Riot converted to Christian Rock is similar to way suggested in the episode "I'm Goin' to Praiseland", as well as the South Park episode "Christian Rock Hard".
- The van driven by Rev. Lovejoy is called "The Ministry Machine", in a clear pun on the Scooby-Doo gang van, The Mystery Machine.
- This episode was rated TV-14DLV, the seventh time for The Simpsons, presumably because of Homer's mention of masturbation. Homer's line about masturbation was cut out of the episode when it aired on Sky One (in the UK) and after several airings of the episode, it still has yet to be heard on UK television. The rest of his confessions can be heard, though.
- This episode appears to have no effect on canon. It ends with Bart being Catholic and still being expelled from school, but neither is the case in subsequent episodes.
Quotes
- Marge: All of that standing, sitting and kneeling...It's like Simon Says without a winner!
- Homer: We're going to send you to another school! And if you get kicked out of that school, you're going straight into the army, where you'll be sent to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo Bananas in charge!
- Homer: Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just can't remember what to yell out when you win.
Father Sean: Bingo.
Homer: That's my favorite game! I just can't remember what to yell out when you win.
Father Sean: (sighs) How about you just say "Yay, I won".
Homer: Bingo!
- Homer: You've transformed breakfast into dinner. It's a miracle!
- Homer: Once you go Vatican, you can't go back again.
- Homer: Wow! You guys have more crazy rules than Blockbuster Video.
- Lisa: Everyone should be able to pick their own faith, like how I chose Buddhism.
Father Sean: Buddhism?! (chuckles) Well, I guess lots of kids have imaginary friends.
Lisa: I'll ignore that.
- Sean's dad: You're just like your mother, can't take a punch!
- Sister Thomasinia: Class, please welcome our newest student, Bart Simpson. Bart, would you like to introduce yourself?
Bart: Hey, Bart Simpson, Ay, caramba, Do the Bartman, yadda yadda yadda.
(Bart goes to his desk with a video game. Sister Thomasinia smashes the game)
Sister Thomasinia: In the old days, we'd use a ruler to deal with incorrigibles like you!
Bart: Thanks for the history lesson, sis.
Sister Thomasinia: These days, we use a yard stick! (camera shows a student being held up by a yardstick in the back of his shirt. Sister Thomasinia grabs the yardstick, sending the student falling to the floor, and whacks Bart with the yardstick)
Bart: I'll show you! I'll move thirty-three inches away.
Sister Thomasinia: A yard's thirty-six! (whacks Bart with the yardstick)
Bart: (groans) Now ya tell me. - Skinner: Now kids, since the middle ages had no compact disks or Super Mario Men, people found entertainment in abusing the village idiot. So, let history come alive.
(Kids start throwing fruit at WIllie, who is hoisted in a small cage)
Willie: Wait! Let me take out my contact lenses. (Willie is hit in the eye with a tomato) Ahhh! (Kids laugh) Pelt all you want. Revenge will be Willie's. (A stapler hits Willie in the face) Ahhhg, that was a stapler! - Mrs. Krabappel: Martin, you will be our king.
Martin: I shall base my rule on Frederick VII! Tra-loop, tra-lay!
(Nelson gets ready to beat up Martin)
Mrs Krabappel: Not so fast Nelson! You're one of King Martin's Guards… HA HA!!!
Nelson: You'll pay for this...(bows) My liege.
- Homer: Log Cabin, full of taste, my stomach is with thee. Blessed art thou among syrups-
Sister Thomasinia: No prayin' to the condiments! (Whack) - Queen Lisa: Cooper, more Pink Lemon-ale! (Bart brings a poorly constructed barrel to the Royal Table) Cooper, thy breaks are not flushed!
(the barrel breaks and everyone begins laughing at Bart)
Bart: You'll pay for this, my Queen!
Queen Lisa: Guards! Take him to the tower!
(Guards Jimbo and Nelson escort Bart away, then they bring him back)
Jimbo: Where is the tower?
Skinner: It's the back seat of my Merkur. (gives them his keys) There's sixty-seven cents in the glove compartment and stay out of my diary! - Homer: Face it, Marge. Catholics rule! We got Boston, South America, the good part of Ireland, and we're makin' serious inroads in Mozambique, baby!
- Mrs. Krabappel: This Friday, we will be holding our all school medieval festival.
Nelson: Medieval? (excited) Like Lord of the Rings?
Mrs. Krabappel: No not at all.
(everyone groans)
- Skinner: Lisa, as our queen, you are entitled to eat the same French fries the teachers eat.
Lisa (excited): The ones made from potatoes?
Skinner: The very same.
- Sister Thomasinia (takes Bart into the hallway): I don't know how they taught you in public school, but at St. Jerome's, we don't tolerate back sass! Stretch out your arms like our Lord on the cross! (Bart does so) Now hold these dictionaries! (places a dictionary on each of Bart's hands) Now think what it would be like if you had nails in your hands.
Bart: Well, I guess they'd help me hold the dictionaries up.
Sister Thomasinia: Wrong answer! (whack!) - (in Marge's fantasy, she is entering Protestant Heaven)
St. Peter: Marge Simpson. Welcome to Protestant Heaven.
(camera shows a wide view of Protestant Heaven, which is similar to a country club)
Man 1 (playing croquet): Through in one? Hooray!
Man 2: Poppy, have you seen Dash?
Marge: But where's Homer and Bart? (looks around then gasps)
(camera then shows a wide view of Catholic Heaven, which is basically one massive party. Mexicans are having a fiesta, Italians having dinner, and Irish men fighting. Homer and Bart are trying to hit a piñata)
Homer (begins hitting himself with a bat): Wow! Up here, that feels good!
(Bart smashes open the piñata)
Michael Flatley: Now dance, ya heavenly gobs!
(everyone begins riverdancing)
Marge: I wish my family was with me.
Man 2: Sorry, Marge. They're just not our sort.
Marge: Well, then, I'd like to speak with Jesus.
Man 2: I'm afraid he's gone native.
(shows Jesus getting thrown in the air from a sheet)
Jesus: (laughing) Hey, stop! (gets nervous) Guys, I'm serious! - Father Sean: I was lying in the gutter picking up my teeth, St. Peter himself appeared before me. 'Sean, yah wanker,' he says, 'repent of your wicked ways or sod off!' Then he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlamp.
- Lovejoy (while driving the Ministry Machine): I think we lost them.
Marge: They weren't following us.
Lovejoy: Then why did I drive through that barn?
- Homer: Catholic school, eh? That'll straighten you out, boy. There, you don't just get bad grades — you go to Hell!
- Marge: Here's an interesting school. Oakwood Academy. Huh? Huh?
Bart: Mom, this is a school for the blind.
Marge: Think of the leg-up you'd have.
- Homer (after finishing confession): Woo-hoo, I'm clean! In your face, Lord!
Sean: Not yet, Mr. Simpson. I can only absolve you if you're a Catholic.
Homer: Uh-huh. And how do I join? Do I wail on some Unitarians?
Sean: Well, it's a little harder than that. It starts with looking deep inside yourself. (Homer groans) But it ends with bread and wine.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
- Marge: Homer, you've been gone all night and you look like you accepted someone as your personal something. Were you at that Catholic Church?
Homer: Look, I know I was supposed to yell at that priest, but he's so cool! He plays drums in a band with a bunch of other priests!
Marge: I knew they'd try to convert you! That's what they do! Well I'm not having another twelve kids.
Homer: Marge, no one's saying "twelve." (gets out a pamphlet entitled "Plop 'til You Drop") Nine, ten, tops!
- Ned: Uh-oh. We gotta stop them now! Once they seal the deal, there's no going back, just like the Jews with their snippety-snip.
- Bart: This is a Catholic church. Chicks got no authority here.
- Homer (after Marge, Flanders, and Lovejoy burst into communion class): Marge, what are you doing here?
Marge: Homer, you are physically an adult and what you do in the privacy of your own soul is your business. But I did not change Bart's diapers for five years to see him become a Catholic!
Bart (as his classmates all look at him): I thought there was a monster in the potty.
- Bart: Don't you get it? It's all Christianity, people! The little, stupid differences are nothing next to the big stupid similarities!
- Ned's brain (shaking hands with Sean): Note to self — have hand re-blessed.
- (ca. 3005: Two armies are in front of each other, equipped with rifles, crossbows, and large Power Rangers-style robots, one of which is armed with a giant slingshot)
Bart Commander: We believe that God's last prophet, Bart Simpson, preached a message of tolerance and love.
Bartman Commander: We believe the holy Bartman preached a message of understanding and peace, before he was betrayed by his follower Milhouse and was pulled apart by snowmobiles until he died.
Bart army: Eat my shorts!
Bartman army: Cowabunga!
(The two armies then wage war on each other)
External link
From Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Original article here. Support Wikipedia by contributing or donating.
All text is available under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License See Wikipedia Copyrights for details.