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The Regina Monologues

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The Regina Monologues is the fourth episode of The Simpsons' fifteenth season. The episode aired on November 23, 2003. It was the first episode where the entire family went on a trip to Europe, although Bart has already gone to France in the episode "The Crepes of Wrath", and Bart references to Homer going on a "mysterious trip" to Holland in "Burns' Heir." Homer also toured Sweden in "Homer's Barbershop Quartet." This is also the first episode where a high ranking official in government guest starred on The Simpsons. In the UK, it managed 1.1 million viewers, a little lower than what could have been expected but still high.

Contents

Synopsis

[Spoiler warningSpoiler warning]: Plot and/or ending details follow.

On Smithers' advice, Mr. Burns uses an ATM (he pushes 4 buttons on finding that his ATM PIN is his age). He decides to withdraw $1000 and the machine ejects a $1000 bill, which strikes Burns in the chest and knocks him down and flies away. It flies straight into the Simpsons' house, where Bart and Milhouse play a violent video game called "Hockey Dad". The bill gets stuck in Milhouse's hair and Bart (great friend that he is) tells Milhouse that it's a ladybug and swipes it. He wonders what to do with it, but Marge tells him and Homer to put up fliers, so that the one who lost it can reclaim it. They do so, at the top of an electric pole. However, Sideshow Mel and Otto, desperate to see what it says, knock down the pole (with Bart and Homer still on it). Soon, there is a big line of people outside the Simpsons' place, claiming the bill, but no one can describe it correctly. Since no one shows up to claim the bill, the bill now belongs to Bart. Lisa suggests that they spend the money on Marge. Marge wants a vacation, but decides against it, because Homer always manages to ruin it.

The next day, Bart displays the $1000 bill in school for his friends to see. When Milhouse offers him 25 cents to see it again, he gets an idea and sets up a museum in his treehouse called "The Museum of Modern Bart" to display it, along with other items. The museum is a resounding success and the collections are huge. However, when Mr. Burns comes in and sees it, he claims it. When asked for proof, he shows Bart the impression left by the bill, when it struck his chest. He "yoinks" it away and leaves. Without the bill, the museum loses its business. However, Lisa, after counting the money collected, says that they have managed to collect up to $3000. Bart wants a used Toyota, but Lisa persuades him to spring for a vacation for Marge. Grampa suggests going to London, England. Apparently, during World War II, he met a girl, Edwina, with whom he had a brief affair, and wants to meet her again, considering he just remembered her. Marge agrees as long as Homer promises to behave, which he does and then starts to pick out a rifle to take along.

Thus the family goes to London and are graciously greeted by none other than Tony Blair. They start seeing the sights, while Grampa stays at the hotel, trying to find Edwina. The kids find out that British chocolates are much sweeter than ones at home and go crazy with all the sugar and run through town. They are finally found lying on a footpath. They meet J.K. Rowling and Sir Ian McKellen, who is acting in Macbeth and experiences painful bad luck everytime someone says "Macbeth".

Marge is happy that Homer is behaving himself. They rent a Mini and start to go around London. Unfortunately, they get stuck on a roundabout. After driving in circles for hours, Homer decides to break out of it and ploughs straight through the gates of Buckingham Palace and slams into Queen Elizabeth II's horse drawn carriage. Unaware of who he has just knocked down, he tries to brush the incident under the carpet, but the Coldstream Guardsmen there start beating him up with cudgels. Then comes the Changing of the Guard, and the new Coldstream Guardsmen continue to beat him mercilessly.

Homer is put on trial for causing harm to the Queen as well as wrecking his own vehicle. He calls the Queen an impostor, since her luggage has the inscription, "H.R.H." (which he believe stands for "Henrietta R. Hippo"). The Queen then demands that he be "destroyed". He is taken away to the Tower of London. There, near the fireplace, he prays to the "God of England" in his cell. His family call him from outside and Lisa tells him that he can use a secret tunnel that Sir Walter Raleigh once used. For that, he must push a brick in the fireplace, which he does a second time after putting out the fire, this time). However, the tunnel leads straight into the Queen's bedroom. The Queen whistles for her guards and they grab Homer. Homer pleads with the Queen to find it in her heart to forgive him. Finally, he is allowed to leave England, as long as they take Madonna (stuffed in a duffel bag) with them. Just as they are about to leave, Edwina shows up and meets Grampa. She introduces them to Abbie, her 58-year-old daughter, who looks and sounds like Homer in drag. Abe cannot bear the thought of having another Homer in his life, so he bolts. However, Homer seems to think that Abbie is quite attractive.

Trivia

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