The Wandering Juvie
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'The Wandering Juvie" is the sixteenth episode of The Simpsons
Synopsis
When the Simpson family is at the Costington's department store, Bart uses the wedding gift registry as a prank to sign himself and his bride, "Lotta Cooties", for wedding presents. Bart invites many people to his so-called "wedding" and delivers all the unused gifts he expects to return to his guests, but he is stopped in his tracks by Chief Wiggum, who arrests Bart. Bart tries to bribe Chief Wiggum with the wedding presents, but Chief Wiggum only accepts cash bribes, as stated on his badge. Bart is sentenced to six months of juvenile detention by Judge Constance Harm, going to a detention center.
At the detention center, Bart is being bullied when he encounters Homer, who has taken the job of being a prison guard to protect him. Unfortunately, his shift ends until two weeks from that day. He has another problem when he meets a girl he thinks he likes—a girl who is as bad as him named Gina Vendetti —and is made her dancing partner. When they are dancing, Gina thinks of a way she and Bart can escape. But due to the fact that they are handcuffed together, she automatically brings Bart along. They are on the lam and look for a blacksmith who can remove their cuffs. They are freed, but after it happens, Gina is alone and she is worried she does not have a family. Gina confesses she does not have a family when she returns to jail (also clearing Bart of all charges that would result in him remaining in prison), but the family and the prison warden step in to help Gina by offering a Mexican food feast in her cell at the end.
Trivia
- This appearance was Sarah Michelle Gellar's first television appearance since Buffy the Vampire Slayer ended.
- People who are handcuffed and waiting for the blacksmith include: Laurel and Hardy; a soldier and a hippie; a cowboy and a Native American; a nun and a prostitute; and Captain Horatio McCallister and a squid.
- The title is a play on the Wandering Jew.
Quotes
- "Yes" guy: Sir, our customers need to use that dressing room!
Homer: (seen sitting, with his pants down) Dressing room? Uh-oh... - Mayor Quimby: Remember, if anyone asked, you're my niece from out of town.
Quimby niece: I am your niece, Uncle Joe.
Mayor Quimby: Good lord! I'm an abomination! - Bart: Come on, Chief, it was just a prank. Would some flatware make things right?
Chief Wiggum: Um, what does it say on my badge? "Cash Bribes Only"! Let's go! (he handcuffs Bart) - Ralph Wiggum: Your eyes need diapers.
- Homer: It's not all your fault. All these years, I watched you turn our son into a time bomb, and yet, I did nothing.
- Warden: The part of the brain that remembers dance steps is also the anger center. So, juveniles who know how to fox trot are 10% less likely to commit a double homicide.
Juvie (possibly Jimbo): Who conducted this study?!
Warden: The Institute of SHUT YOUR FAT FACE! Now pair up! - Kent Brockman: We've brought in an expert, former under-age defender Snake.
Snake: If they're smart, Kent, they'll stay off the main road. It's all here in my book, Ten Habits of Highly Successful Criminals.
Kent Brockman: All right. I plugged your book, now put down the gun.
Snake: (cocking a gun) Tell 'em I'll be on Conan Thursday with Heather Locklear and Third Eye Blind. - Warden: I guess it's back to my bachelor apartment; make a tuna sandwich, turn on Will & Grace, and cry myself to sleep.
Marge: You want to have dinner with us?
Warden: Didn't ya hear me? I've got an evenin' planned! - Warden: Why do you want to be a guard?
Homer: I believe that children are the future...unless we stop them now!
Warden: Welcome aboard. (holds out a nightstick) This end's for beaten', this end's for holdin'. (gives nightstick to Homer)
Homer: When does training start?
Warden: It just finished. - Bart: Are you looking to do the Bartman?
- Bart: Please don't send me to juvie! I'll do anything! I'll...I'll...I'll snitch on my Dad. He's done tons of stuff, stuff you've never even thought of!
Wiggum: We already got an informant working on your father. One he'll never suspect.
Homer: Is it Lenny?
Wiggum (under his breath): God damn it! (to Homer) I mean, no.
(in the audience, Lenny rips a wire off his chest and leaves) - Gina: Because I can do this. (starts to fake cry) He dragged me out here and I didn't want to go, but he was too strong...
Bart: But you got twenty pounds on me.
Gina: And then, he said I was fat.
Bart: I'm screwed.
Gina: (pretends to cry for a minute, then looks up) You bet you are.
References
- 'The sign on the warden's office wall reads, "HIS JUDGEMENT COMETH AND THAT RIGHT SOON." This is a reference to The Shawshank Redemption.
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