The Ziff Who Came to Dinner
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"The Ziff Who Came to Dinner" is the fourteenth episode of The Simpsons
Synopsis
Homer takes Bart and Lisa to a movie and he has to bring the Flanders family children with him, because Ned has taken the senior citizens for ice cream to celebrate the birthday of Jasper. However, at the theatre, every kid-friendly movie is sold out, and after listening to Lenny mention he had a small part in the horror movie The Redeadening (a Child's Play parody) as a gardener, Homer takes the kids to see the movie. The movie is very scary, causing it to scare Bart and Lisa at home, who think they hear noises from the attic. But when they look in the attic to see it, their fears scare them away. When Bart and Lisa arrange to have Homer look in the attic himself, he discovers Artie Ziff living there.
Artie Ziff explains that he was living in the attic because he ran an unsuccessful Internet business, Ziffcorp (an Enron parody), and lost all his money after spending it on many extravagant items. He said he came to the family house because he thought Marge was the closest thing to him. Artie says he wants to stay in the Simpson house until he gets back on his feet, as long as he promises to be on his best behavior. Only after Artie arranges to stay in the Simpson house, Marge watches the news and hears that the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is looking for Artie Ziff. When Artie is playing poker with Homer and his friends, Homer wins 98% of his company's outstanding stock. The SEC sweeps in to arrest Ziff, but Homer says he owns 230 million shares of Ziffcorp, making him the majority stockholder. Homer is taken into SEC custody, and placed on trial.
When Homer is on trial, Marge blames Artie for Homer being likely to go to prison. She also suggests that no one likes Artie for one reason: he only thinks of himself. Homer is eventually found guilty and sentenced to ten years in prison. Visiting Moe's Tavern, Artie encounters Patty and Selma, and Selma comes to take Artie to her apartment after he mentions putting Homer in prison. As they spend the night together, Artie makes a plan to turn over his corporate books in order to admit he is the real crook. Ziff turns himself in, and Homer is released from prison. The family takes one last look at their "Uncle Artie", who uses a squirt bottle to put out the prisoners' cigarettes.
The Re-Deadening
The movie featured at the beginning of the episode when Homer attempts to take the kids to see a "child friendly" film but discovers they are all sold out. He is about to take the children home when he sees Carl and Lenny purchasing tickets for The Re-Deadening. He asks them if the movie is any good and Lenny replies by saying:"Sure, I'm in it. I had a small speaking role"
Lisa then asks Lenny how he managed to get in a movie and Lenny informs her that the director saw his picture in a medical book.
Homer then asks Lenny if the movie is suitable for "kids". Lenny answers but gives an answer that isn't really an answer to the original question:
"Yeah, there are lots of kids in it, they fall victim to a vicious cur..."
Homer then interrupts Lenny and says, "SHH! Don't ruin it!"
He then assumes this means it is okay and purchases tickets for himself and the children.
The movie is a horror film involving a psychotic doll that possesses the children in the movie. Rod and Todd are the first shown to be watching the movie on a separate seating row to Homer, Lisa and Bart. They seem terrified when Homer reaches forward for some popcorn confusing his arm for what appears to be a zombie arm in the movie. Todd requests to go home but Homer informs him that it's "only a movie" but quickly changes his mind stating it is based on a true story some of which happened in the theatre they are in. He then leaves Todd and Rod terrified on the row in front.
Bart and Lisa are no happier with the fact of watching the movie. Lisa hugs Homer and begs him to go home. He tells her to close her eyes and then puts his soda on her head while his popcorn is on a terrified Bart.
During the movie we see Lenny's small speaking role when he is attacked by what seems to be a possessed doll. The Doll then walks away leaving Lenny (who appears to be a gardener) dead in the garden with buttons sewed onto his eyes. Lenny leans forward from the row behind and informs Homer that although the buttons look like they have been sewed on they are really just held in place by hot wax.
Quotes
- Homer (singing to Bart with sadness): Turn around, turn around, turn around and you're a young man... and you're... too... big... to... choke! (*cries*)
- Artie Ziff: Marge, I think about a lot more than just moi. (he imagines seeing can-can dancers who all look like Artie singing, in a can-can tune, "Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie!", and sees mustached spectators who look like Artie clap saying "Ziff Ziff Ziff Ziff".)
Artie: Oh, my God. She's right. - (Homer takes Artie to Moe's, where he meets Aristotle Amadopolis, Llewelyn Sinclair, Jay Sherman, and Professor Lombardo—all characters Jon Lovitz voiced on the show—sitting in the bar.)
Homer: Guys, I'd like you to meet Artie Ziff.
Lovitz characters: Hello, handsome!
Artie Ziff: Hello. (to himself) Losers. - Artie: Doesn't your father ever read to you?
Lisa: He tried once, but he got confused and thought the book was real. He's still searching for that chocolate factory. It consumes him. - Moe: Hey, how can you arrest Homer? Ziff's the guy who done the thing what why you're here for!
- Homer: (while being dragged away by the SEC) Don't tell my family I'm going to jail! Tell them I joined the Blue Man Group! I'M THE FAT ONE!!
- Homer: Refuse to answer on the grounds that I what?!?
Lawyer: (whispers to Homer)
Homer: Inseminate myself? Dude, I think this guy's coming onto me.
Lawyer: You, sir, are a moron!
Homer: A Mormon? But I'm from earth!
- :(Here Homer apparently confuses Mormons with Scientologists or Unarians, or perhaps he is aware of the Mormon underpinnings of the show Battlestar Galactica.)
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