You Never Can Tell
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- "You Never Can Tell" is also the name of a song by rock and roll musician Chuck Berry.
The play is set in a seaside town and tells the story of Mrs. Clandon and her three children, Dolly, Phillip and Gloria, who have just returned to England after an eighteen year stay in Madeira.
The children have no idea who their father is and, through a comedy of errors, end up inviting him to a family lunch. At the same time struggling dentist named Mr. Valentine has fallen in love with the eldest daughter, Gloria. However Gloria considers herself a modern woman and claims to have no interest in love or marriage.
The play continues with a comedy of errors and confused identities with the friendly and wise waiter, Walter dispensing his wisdom with the phrase "You Never Can Tell."
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